Couples spend a lot of energy trying to fix what’s broken. Date nights, therapy, better communication—anything to keep the spark alive. But experts say one of the strongest predictors of a happy, lasting relationship is also one of the simplest: kissing.
“Kissing is the most underrated relationship tool,” said Mariah Freya, sex educator and co-founder of Beducated, in an interview with The Daily Mail. While people track how often they have sex or how well they communicate, few pay attention to how often they kiss—and how they do it.
Freya explained that when couples stop treating kissing like a formality and actually slow down, something shifts. “That’s when your brain moves from ‘greeting mode’ to ‘connection mode.’ Your partner literally becomes more attractive to you.”
Couples Who Kiss Together Stay Together
Studies back her up. A 2020 study linked frequent kissing with higher relationship satisfaction. A 2011 survey found that one in five married couples hadn’t kissed in the past week, and when they did, the average kiss lasted five seconds or less.
Brie Temple, Chief Matchmaker at Tawkify, sees that decline as a warning sign. “If kissing fades, it’s one of the first signs of emotional disconnection,” she told The Daily Mail. “Without those soft moments, partners start to feel like roommates.”
Sunaree Ko, a love and compatibility expert, added that kissing plays a larger role than most people realize. Without it, couples are more likely to misread each other, feel undervalued, or drift apart during periods of stress.
Kissing comes with benefits far beyond physical affection. According to licensed sexologist Sofie Roos, it sets off a chemical chain reaction in the brain. Oxytocin builds trust and attachment. Dopamine brings euphoria. Serotonin helps with mood, sleep, and emotional regulation.
“By triggering all three,” Roos said, “you recreate the emotional high of being in love.”
Some couples build their routine around it. Ko pointed to those who kiss first thing in the morning and last thing at night. It’s small but powerful—a reset button that doesn’t require talking, scheduling, or fixing.
If things feel distant, you might not need another conversation. You might just need a kiss that has some intention behind it.
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