Season 3, Episode 4: ‘Apples to Apples’
Is it time for all of us to face the very real possibility that Aidan is a narcissist?
For the second time in their yearslong love affair, Aidan has lured Carrie to the countryside. In “Sex and the City” Season 4, Aidan finds a backwoods cabin in the unfortunately named Suffern, N.Y., and all but forces Carrie to spend weekends up there with him and a domestic terrorist squirrel.
This time, though, Carrie is in Virginia with Aidan, not so much against her will. In last week’s episode, Carrie eagerly showed up down south to deliver Aidan a key to “their” (insert eye-roll emoji) Gramercy palace, and then Aidan asked her to stay.
Why, exactly, does he do that? Carrie asks Aidan that very question toward the end of this episode. There is only one correct answer, and it goes something like: “Because you’re the love of my life. I miss you, and I wish we could be together all the time, and I just wanted to feel that for at least a few days.”
But Aidan tells Carrie nothing of the sort. He says simply, “I felt guilty because you came all the way down here, and if I couldn’t ask you to stay, what does that say about us?”
Here is what I think: I think that response solidifies for viewers that Aidan is a deeply selfish, stubborn, manipulative jerk who is dead-set on making everyone close to him bend to his will.
For starters, Aidan has successfully maneuvered his way into getting what he wants out of Carrie in this most recent iteration of their relationship. In “And Just Like That …” Season 2, he refused to set foot in Carrie’s house — a melodramatic boundary rooted in old cheating wounds Carrie had apologized for time and again. But then Carrie went and sold it and bought the Gramercy townhouse that he all but refuses, essentially, to set foot in today.
OK, not so much refuses. But as we know, Aidan is tethered to Virginia so he can be present for his troubled son, Wyatt (Logan Souza), and he has convinced Carrie that the best way she can support him as a dad is, basically, to disappear. And she has.
Is Aidan really doing what’s best for Wyatt, though? Or does he just need to feel in control?
In real life, mental health and substance abuse, particularly when it comes to a minor, are fraught issues and difficult to navigate. But “And Just Like That …” is a TV show and these characters are fake, so let’s go ahead and judge their parenting hard.
To me, it seems Aidan isn’t being present for Wyatt so much as he is being domineering. Old-school discipline and good, old-fashioned bootstrap-pulling are his remedies for Wyatt’s substance use and ADHD. Kathy, however — who is rapidly becoming my new favorite character — seems interested less in winning a power struggle than in serving Wyatt’s best interests. She seems to know better what Wyatt needs: present, steady parents; space to cool off; homemade mac and cheese; and at least possibly, medical intervention.
But Aidan thinks the only cure for Wyatt is no screens, and no Carrie.
Why no Carrie, though? Kathy’s boyfriend, Bob (Tony Crane), has been around for, what, at least four years? Or more? Clearly long enough for everyone to understand that he doesn’t play board games. So why can’t the same space be made for Carrie?
The answer, yet again, is simply: Aidan. This is his inexplicable wish, and Carrie has played along all season. By the end of this episode — after watching Aidan exacerbate Wyatt’s outburst and then battle Kathy about how he raises, as he puts it, “my family” — Carrie completely commits to it.
“You need to be here,” she tells Aidan, “and without me.” Then she hands him the key to Gramercy and tells him to use it when he needs to, but never out of guilt.
Don’t worry, Carrie, he won’t. Despite what they may tell you, narcissists don’t actually feel guilt.
Things still taking up space in my brain
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Charlotte and Harry, who have always had a healthy, “two to three times a week” sex life, might be seeing that wane. But Charlotte shows nothing but love for Harry and his erectile woes while simultaneously rooting for the sexual expression of everyone else in her family. This started in Season 2 when she supported the efforts of Lily (Cathy Ang) to lose her virginity and supported the evolving gender identity of Rock (Alexa Swinton). Now, Charlotte is far more open-minded to Lily’s queer and poly boyfriend than many other parents her age would be. And she doesn’t bat an eye when Pop Pop (Harris Yulin) is discovered to have a PornHub predilection, or when he ventures out to have sex with a neighbor. Despite the prudish exterior her character once had, the Charlotte of today is fostering a truly sex-positive family.
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If Joy — Miranda’s new love interest with absolutely insufferable friends — is 50-something and still “shutting down” every time she feels attracted to someone, she needs to grow up a little. That said, she is by far the best match we have seen Miranda have in a long time. Maybe ever? Let’s root for this coupling.
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Carrie is very generous about her bestie Miranda potentially having sex in her bed while housesitting. That’s quite the wingwoman move.
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Aidan can’t believe that Carrie’s favorite swimsuit is from Target, but I can. Everyone needs detergent and toilet paper, so it’s not far-fetched to think Carrie might venture in for essentials and then cruise the clothing aisles. Target partners with some high-end fashion designers, so Carrie probably has multiple clothing items from Target.
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What is unbelievable, though, is that Carrie would ever ride an ATV.
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Just like Adam the landscaper, Marion (Mehcad Brooks), the editor Lisa hires to replace Grace, is hot. This always spells trouble. I’m just waiting to hear Lisa say his name in her sleep.
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Are Anthony and Guiseppe at Charlotte’s for dinner every night?
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