Maryland-based jewelry designer Michelle Keller, 32, has been sharing a look behind the sparkles with her tips on what to avoid when picking out a dream engagement ring.
With a background in science and structural engineering, Keller says durability often takes a backseat to aesthetics—leading to rings that warp, break, or lose stones over time.
“I am a designer at heart and love all things floral, but I take a structural engineering approach in all our rings,” Keller told Newsweek. She said that many people are going wrong with their engagement-ring choices, opting for style over durability and leading to a ring that won’t last forever.
“It’s never about what designs are ‘coolest or prettiest’—those things are personal. My videos focus on physics and engineering, breaking down why certain styles don’t hold up,” Keller said.
Wedding site The Knot says that the average engagement ring in 2024 cost $5,200, down slightly from $5,500 in 2023, but still a significant expense. In a series of videos on Instagram, Keller shared the top things to avoid in an engagement ring to ensure money is invested well.
Ring Designs to Avoid
Bands that aren’t a full circle—”it may look cool, but this is structurally not sound,” Keller said.
Shared prong accent stone bands—”the band itself is really thin, and there’s only one prong between each two stones and so it’s not going to be very secure,” Keller said.
Pavé on prongs—”prongs are one of the most structurally important components of your ring. Setting stones into your prong significantly weakens the structure,” Keller said.
It isn’t just style to look out for either; she also shed light on the reality of some of the most-common stone choices that could be a mistake.
Ring Gemstones To Avoid
Pearls—”these are primarily made out of calcium carbonate … That’s about the hardness of a fingernail. They’re porous, and so they can absorb moisture and oils, which will damage them,” Keller said.
Moss agate—”they’re considered a brittle gemstone and they have natural fractures, both of which make them susceptible to breakage,” Keller said.
Opals—”[they] can easily be scratched by metal. Glass or even dust … Opals have a high water content, making them really sensitive to different humidity conditions. They’re not durable enough to be worn on the hand daily for years,” Keller said.
Choosing a Ring That Lasts
When it comes to picking the perfect ring with longevity, Keller had some important recommendations.
Firstly, she said there should be a minimum of six prongs, or a gallery rail for four-prong settings. When it comes to band size, there are some golden rules, too: “The band is the foundation of your ring and the ideal band width is 2 mm; if your ring size is over 7 or your stone is 2.5 carats-plus, go a little wider,” Keller said. “Make sure to think about your lifestyle and how you use your hands on a day-to-day basis.”
When it comes to stones, Keller said that 2 carats are the perfect place to start. “When in doubt, 2 carats looks good on virtually everyone,” she said. “But if you choose a stone 2.5 carats or larger, I’d recommend a 2.2 mm or 2.4 mm band for adequate support and to keep the ring from spinning as much—larger stones make the ring top-heavy.”
For gemstone choice, it is all about hardness and durability. “Anything too soft will scratch over time and become cloudy. Diamonds, moissanite, sapphire, rubies, and alexandrite are all great options that come in a multitude of cuts and colors,” Keller said.
She added that her advice comes from both her job and personal experience. “My personal engagement ring from another jewelry company was designed without proper structure and has broken and warped over and over again. It’s really heartbreaking.
“Engagement rings are expensive and incredibly important sentimental pieces that commemorate one of life’s most-important milestones. I create these videos to help people choose rings that they can cherish for a lifetime,” Keller said.
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