Hot girl/boy summer is out. This year, many daters are pursuing a sober girl/boy summer.
Going sober in today’s world isn’t necessarily easy, especially when dating. Many of us even use alcohol as a crutch when dealing with first-date nerves.
However, “With the right mindset, support system, and a little preparation, you can fully embrace the season—clear-headed, confident, and fully present for all the joy summer has to offer,” said Nicky Wake, founder of SoberLove.
Here are four ways to date with confidence—and without the liquid courage.
Rethink your date spots.
Many people’s go-to date spots revolve around alcohol. How many times have you been asked on a first date and ended up meeting your match at a bar or for happy hour?
However, just because alcohol-based first dates are common for some daters doesn’t mean you have to go along with it.
“Bars and beer gardens don’t have to be your default,” Wake said. “Try swapping happy hour for healthy hour … There are endless sober-friendly ways to soak up the sun and get a boost of Vitamin D.”
For example, you can plan a hike, go on a picnic, or grab a coffee with your date.
State your boundaries from the start.
There’s nothing wrong with communicating your sobriety to your dating app matches. In fact, this can actually help you find better aligned dates. By stating your boundaries with alcohol from the get-go, you’re already eliminating unnecessary tension or awkward in-person conversations.
Not to mention, being clear with your boundaries helps you prepare for instances where you might have to say “no.”
“I’ve learned that sober summer fun just takes a little extra intention,” Wake said. “Personally, I love having alcohol-free products on hand. While I know they’re not right for everyone, I’ve found that a chilled 0% beer or a fruity mocktail can offer that placebo effect when I want to feel part of the celebration.”
Keep hydrated.
Many people follow the 1:1 drink rule, where you have one glass of water per alcoholic beverage. However, just because you’re not drinking alcohol on your dates doesn’t mean you can’t still get dehydrated. Keep drinking that water!
“When you’re dehydrated, alcohol cravings can creep in,” Wake pointed out. “Aim for about a gallon of water a day, your skin, your mood, and your sobriety will thank you.”
Not to mention, you’ll be glowing on your dates.
Choose sober-friendly travel.
If you’re planning any summer trips with your new fling, make sure you factor in your sobriety.
“Summer often means vacation, but for those of us in recovery, it’s essential to be mindful of the environment we’re stepping into,” Wake said. “An all-inclusive resort with bottomless cocktails probably isn’t the ideal reset if you’re early in recovery.”
For example, she recommended choosing a cruise, as they often provide AA meetings for sober guests. In fact, this was a choice she made for herself when pursuing sobriety.
“Knowing I had access to support made all the difference,” she explained. “Plus, cruise ships are packed with activities—from indoor skydiving to roller coasters—which left little time to dwell on drinking.”
There are plenty of other options to consider, too. If your partner is into the outdoors or wellness, you can choose a more active or spiritual getaway.
“If cruises aren’t your thing, consider an organized tour trip or wellness retreat with like-minded travelers,” Wake recommended.
The post Dating During Sober Summer? Here Are 4 Tips for Success. appeared first on VICE.
