Lucy Easthope describes herself as “the last responder.”
When disaster strikes, emergency workers rush in to deliver aid. But Dr. Easthope, a visiting professor of mass fatalities and pandemics at the University of Bath in England, tells me that her specialty is what comes after.
She has spent 24 years helping people recover from catastrophes like the Sept. 11 attacks, the Indian Ocean tsunami in 2004 and the London subway bombings in 2005. Her many tasks include working in the rubble retrieving remains and personal effects, advising on cleanup and reconstruction, and helping stricken communities mend.
In her upcoming book, “Come What May: Life-Changing Lessons for Coping With Crisis,” Dr. Easthope writes about what a life in emergency management has taught her about weathering difficult times.
She shared her insights on how to deal with everyday loss and calamities like death, a bad diagnosis, divorce or being fired.
Make an ‘impact assessment.’
When she arrives on the scene of a disaster, the first thing Dr. Easthope does is write down every single thing that has happened, no matter how small: the collapsed bridge, but also the destroyed community garden. This is called an impact assessment.
When something bad happens, she said, we can all benefit from making our own impact assessment. Write down everything that’s affected by the event, whether it’s physical, psychological or logistical, she said. This can help you understand what you have been through, how it is affecting you in all realms of your life and what is or isn’t fixable.
In order for any healing and rebuilding to take place, she said, “we have to confront the inventory of what has happened.”
And keep checking in with yourself, Dr. Easthope added. “In disaster work, we go back at six months, and a year, and then beyond, because new things emerge,” she said.
Watch out for ‘the spiral.’
Sometimes you can find yourself in a vortex, seeking reasons for why something happened or demanding to know why things are so unfair. But sometimes, there isn’t a reason, Dr. Easthope said.
Research consistently demonstrates that a sense of fairness is deeply ingrained in people, beginning in childhood, so this reality can be hard for people to swallow, she explained.
Dr. Easthope regularly faces a roomful of agitated people who have undergone a traumatic event and are asking why they have been dealt an unfair hand. “I see this a lot after flooding,” she said. “They’ll say, ‘Why has the weather done this? This shouldn’t have happened; it’s not fair.’”
Sometimes she starts by agreeing and saying that there is often no reason for the event. “Those are truths that have to be accepted,” she added.
Dr. Easthope understands “the need to get answers or the need to get justice.” But focusing on the unfairness can be a sign of spiraling. It can stop you from moving ahead and prevent what she calls “the green shoots of new beginnings.”
Appoint a ‘burnout monitor.’
People who work in disaster management often don’t recognize how burned out they are until they’re well beyond the point where they probably could have made changes, Dr. Easthope said.
So she tells colleagues, as well as anyone going through a crisis, to appoint a “burnout monitor,” a person you trust who can watch you for signs that you’re spent. They can help you brainstorm ways to take things off your plate or get extra support, she said, and remind you not to minimize whatever you’re going through and prioritize your own needs.
It should be someone who can tell you “the compassionate truth” when they see that you are run down, Dr. Easthope added. “Mine is my mum,” she said.
Recognize your ‘hidden needs.’
Dr. Easthope has built her career on marshaling resources to meet people’s most pressing needs. But there is a more covert set of desires that people often have, too, she said.
“They’re the naughty ones that I want everyone to know they have a right to feel,” she said, whether the desire is for sex or a smoke, a belly laugh or a cocktail.
“There’s so much judgment about how disaster survivors or bereaved people should behave,” she said. But pleasure matters during this time, she said, and you deserve it. “Life cannot be a series of days where you just get by,” she said.
After a grueling day on the job, Dr. Easthope said, she will sometimes watch “The Kardashians.” What else does she enjoy? “I’m not hedonistic,” she said, “but I like a good piece of cake.”
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Jancee Dunn, who writes the weekly Well newsletter for The Times, has covered health and science for more than 20 years.
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