As the U.S. military prepares to celebrate the legacy of the Army with a massive parade in Washington, D.C. on Saturday, some transgender service members are grappling with an involuntary end to their careers after the Trump administration banned them from the military.
“I’m heartbroken,” said Cmdr. Emily Shilling, a decorated Navy pilot who is also the lead plaintiff in Shilling vs. Trump — one of three federal lawsuits challenging the Trump administration’s executive order barring transgender service members.
Shilling, who is based in the D.C. area, is also the president of Sparta Pride — an organization advocating for 2,400 transgender people in the military and those who hope to join.
Reflecting on the upcoming parade commemorating the 250th anniversary of the Army’s founding, Shilling, who has served since 2005, told ABC News that “military might does not equal patriotism.”
“The members who take an oath and dedicate their lives to service — that’s patriotism, whether or not we have tanks or rocket launchers, that has nothing to do with it,” Shilling said.
And according to Shilling, for active duty members of Sparta, who were faced with the “heartbreaking” decision to voluntarily separate from the military or get kicked out, abandoning their commitment to serving their country is what’s “keeping them up at night.”
“When I sit in these town halls that we do with Sparta, people are really struggling with the idea of giving up or quitting, or, you know, not fulfilling their oath,” she said. “And that’s actually what’s keeping these men, women and folks you know, up at night. They feel like they have a duty to keep serving and keep fighting.”
The Pentagon’s new ban went into effect in early May shortly after the Supreme Court ruled that the Trump administration could enforce the ban on transgender people in the military while legal challenges proceed in lower courts.
After the Supreme Court ruling, the Pentagon issued a memo giving active duty service members until June 6 — last Friday — to self-identify and begin the voluntary separation process. Transgender service members in the reserve forces have until July 7 to voluntarily separate.
The memo also stated that after June 6, military commanders will be told to identify people in their units who have a diagnosis or history of gender dysphoria or exhibit symptoms consistent with gender dysphoria. The move would initiate a referral to an annual health check-up that would begin what could be a lengthy process for each individual that could lead to their removal from the military.
Shilling, who will be eligible for retirement at 20 years in September, told ABC News that faced with these options, she chose to self-identify and begin the process of voluntarily separating from the military, but noted that she made the decision “under duress.”
“I hit my retirement date in September. So if I didn’t volunteer at that time, I could theoretically be kicked out between June and September and lose everything,” she said. “So it was very much a decision made under duress. You know, I was coerced into it because we knew that the voluntary separation would give me an honorable discharge with some portion of my retirement, and I’d be able to keep all of my benefits.”
The Pentagon incentivized service members with gender dysphoria to voluntarily separate ahead of the June 6 deadline by offering benefit payment packages that would be more than double what would be received if they were to separate involuntarily. Those who voluntarily separated would not have to risk paying back the recruitment or retention bonuses they may have earned during their military service.
Its policy came after the Trump administration announced a ban on transgender service members in a Jan. 27 executive order, where President Donald Trump directed the Defense Department to revise the policy allowing transgender troops to openly serve.
“Expressing a false ‘gender identity’ divergent from an individual’s sex cannot satisfy the rigorous standards necessary for military service,” the order said.
The order further argued that receiving gender-affirming medical care is one of the conditions that is physically and mentally “incompatible with active duty.”
Defense officials estimate that as of last December, about 4,240 current active-duty, National Guard and Reserve service members had been diagnosed with gender dysphoria.
There are more than 2.1 million military service members serving on active-duty, National Guard and the Reserves. Advocacy groups have put the actual number of transgender service members as being much higher, at around 15,000.
“There’s a lot of fear,” Shilling said, reflecting on service members like herself who are losing their jobs.
She also said that being banned from the military has taken an emotional toll on the community — some of whom have left “rough homes” and found a family in the military.
“For a lot of people, this was, you know, the dream they’ve always wanted, and now their family is saying, you’re not good enough. They’re being rejected again by another family,” she said. “And that’s pretty brutal.”
When asked how she feels about her decision to voluntarily separate from the military, Shilling said that she is at “peace” because she knows that the fight is not over.
“I’m at peace,” she said. “I’m going to thrive, and I’m going to be able to fight this … and continue to fight for that America that I believe in — that good, righteous America, and a lot of these service members feel very much the same.”
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