Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘Two Tacos Short of a Happy Meal’
President Donald Trump visited soldiers at Fort Bragg on Tuesday, where he delivered a speech to “his favorite men in uniform who aren’t in the Village People,” Desi Lydic said on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”
“Oh, my God, give these troops a break already! They have to sit through your show, they have to invade Los Angeles, and now they have to parade for you?” — DESI LYDIC
During his speech, Trump attempted to criticize former President Joe Biden’s intelligence, saying, “He’s never been the sharpest bulb.”
“He was there to commemorate the 250th anniversary of the army, so, of course, he ended up discussing Joe Biden.” — DESI LYDIC
“What a wordsmith. See, see, most people would’ve gone with ‘brightest bulb,’ or ‘sharpest tool,’ but Donald Trump took half of both and smushed them together. That is what makes him the cream of the litter.” — DESI LYDIC
“But that’s Trump — he’s not the brightest knife in the drawer. Some say he’s two tacos short of a Happy Meal.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He wasn’t the sharpest bulb, no. He wasn’t the brightest knife in the drawer.” — JIMMY FALLON
“When Trump’s staff told him that he misquoted the idiom, he was, like, ‘Hey, who are you calling an idiom?’” — JIMMY FALLON
‘Nothing $300 Million Couldn’t Fix’
Elon Musk addressed last week’s tweets concerning President Trump on Wednesday, posting on X: “I regret some of my posts about President @realdonaldtrump last week. They went too far.”
Jimmy Fallon said he was shocked: “I didn’t know Elon was programmed to feel human emotion.”
“Yeah, apparently, Trump and Elon spoke over the phone on Monday night. Trump was very gracious. He was, like, ‘This is nothing another $300 million donation couldn’t fix.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Which ones went too far? Was it the one where you called for him to be impeached and replaced by JD Vance? Was it the one where you said his big, beautiful bill was a disgusting abomination? Was it the one that said he wouldn’t have won the election without you buying it for him? Or the one where you insinuated he is a pedophile on the Epstein list? I really would like to know.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Meanwhile, Jeff Bezos was in the room with Trump. He’s, like, ‘You said you were going to leave him! ’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Free L.A. Edition)
“During a speech yesterday at Fort Bragg to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army, President Trump spoke about the need to ‘liberate Los Angeles and make it free, clean and safe again.’ Though if you think Los Angeles was ever safe, then you’ve never tried to merge onto a six-lane freeway at 80 miles an hour with the sun in your eyes.” — SETH MEYERS
“OK, now let me tell you something. I moved to Los Angeles in 1994. I’ve been here for more than 30 years — it was always a trash heap, OK? This has nothing to do with anything. And I find it especially rich coming from the guy who single-handedly turned Atlantic City into a rusted-out, syringe-filled raccoon’s nest.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Just to be real, I stand with Los Angeles. But when was Los Angeles ever the cleanest or the safest city in America? Or was he just talking about Disneyland?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“There has been so much misinformation, so much cherry picking when it comes to what they show on TV. I mean, if you turn on Fox News, you’d think L.A. was getting invaded by more aliens than the movie ‘Mars Attacks.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
During his first return to the “Late Show” since leaving as host in 2009, Conan O’Brien revealed his initial idea for the show’s name.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The Final Tournament Championship game show-within-a-show will be featured on the series finale of “After Midnight” on Thursday.
Also, Check This Out
“God Only Knows” and “Love and Mercy” are among 12 essential songs by the Beach Boys leader Brian Wilson, who died on Wednesday at 82.
The post Late Night Pokes Fun at Trump’s Idiotic Idiom appeared first on New York Times.
