The toxic men that surround your life are being exposed. And it’s all thanks to Lorde.
Lorde’s new single, “Man of the Year,” has TikTok users calling out the horrible men they dated, and it’s sparking a cultural reset—for both men and women.
Let me explain.
“Man of the Year,” the indie pop star’s second single off her upcoming album, Virgin, is all about her expanding the definition of gender, ego and death. It’s apparently inspired by an ex who met her at a “strange time” in her life.
“Way he flew down through me?/Love me like this/Now I’m broken open?/Let’s hear it for the man of the year,” Lorde sings in the track’s chorus.
The song was an instant hit, with critics and fans alike. Pitchfork compared “Man of the Year” to Frank Ocean’s “Solo” (high praise for any music lover), and Vulture claimed the single was the best qualities of Lorde’s three previous albums—Pure Heroine, Melodrama, and Solar Power—put into a single song.
However, it wasn’t Lorde’s musical brilliance that turned “Man of the Year” into a rallying cry on TikTok—it was what women started pairing it with.
In the videos, users pair the song with a slideshow featuring two images: First, a photo of themselves. Second, a single, deranged text or voice message from their ex-boyfriend. The texts often range from “bad” to “lock this man up, please.”
Here are just a few examples. Let’s hear it for the *men* of the year.
he cheated, i broke up with him and then he proceeded to make a edm song to a crying voicemail men are just great 🙂
In one TikTok, which raked in over 6.6 million views in a day, a user pairs a photo of herself with Lorde’s song, then cuts to an EDM track her ex-boyfriend made using a voicemail she left him. In the voicemail, she’s crying after finding out he cheated on her.
“You really hurt my feelings,” she says, right as the beat drops.
Naturally, the comments were floored.
“This can’t be legal 😭😭😭,” one person wrote.
“This would be the start of my villain arc,” a user declared.
One video shows a text from a man in which he tries to justify cheating on her. “It’s not my fault u feel that way. I told u I loved you, [but] you didn’t say it back, so I kissed her that night.”
Another post plays the song with the caption, “My man of the year is my ex who got mad at me when he cheated on me.”
Without a doubt, the most horrifying TikTok to come out of this trend is one in which a man sent his then girlfriend this message. “You should be grateful I didn’t rape you.”
After two days of women exposing their horrible exes on the app, men started making response videos, claiming they now understand why women “hate” men.
Society at an all time low #relatable #trend #manoftheyear
It’s even causing some men to rethink their response to a 2024 viral debate, which saw TikTok users ask women whether they would prefer to be trapped in the woods with a man or a bear. Overwhelming, they chose to the bear.
“but I would never do that!!” oh my god #manvsbear #manorbear #fyp #foryou #relatable #ugh
The trend ignited discussions about violence against women, but it also triggered a wave of angry backlash from men who took offense at women choosing “the bear.”
Flash forward to 2025—and thanks to the “Man of the Year” trend—it seems like some men, at least ones on TikTok, are finally starting to understand why the bear was deemed the preferable choice.
“I’m done bro, pick the bear all you want gang we deserve it. At this point, send US to the bear 😭🙏,” a male TikToker commented under one of the viral videos.
“Shii I would pick the bear too 💔,” wrote another.
Thank you Lorde, this is the impact of your music.
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