Courtesy of the author
When I was 20, I had my first child, so I’ve never been an adult without a kid. As a mom of two and stepmom of three, being a parent is a huge part of my life.
My youngest is almost a high-school senior. It’s really hitting me that I’m just over a year from a major life change.
I don’t think of it as us becoming empty-nesters. I want our house to always be a home for our kids when they need it. It’s more than all of our kids will be adults, independent, and my role as a parent will change.
As the last high-school graduation looms and a different life stage starts, I’m thinking of many things differently.
I considered a new car for the first time in 20 years
None of my kids ever played soccer, but I’ve spent almost 25 years being a coed-cheer, improv, and theater mom.
In 2004, I got an eight-seat Honda Pilot for our six-person blended family. It was nice to finally go places in the same car. Every space was used for our first family vacation. We took our youngest home from the hospital. It had multiple student-driver bumper stickers. Two kids were moved to and from college in it.
Courtesy of the author
When my lease recently came up, I wondered if I needed all those seats and that space. For the first time since 2004, I researched models, read car reviews, and test-drove new cars with just me in mind.
A bedroom is set up to be a future guest room/office
In fall 2024, we remodeled the bedrooms in our house, including the two currently occupied by kids.
Each room felt hodge-podge — the furniture a mix of styles and colors. The decor reflected the occupants’ different life stages — the superhero phase, quirky-Ikea-kids-furniture stage, and high-school memorabilia.
We set up one bedroom for my husband’s future office and music room. The furniture is midcentury modern, and it matches. There’s a compact sofa that easily shifts to a queen-size bed. Finally, the decor is cohesive.
I’ve been preparing myself for more time and headspace
Having kids is time-consuming — pickups, deep breaths after a dismissive eye roll, comforting after a heartbreak, late-night chats — and takes up a lot of headspace. All that time we spend thinking, planning, worrying, managing, and feeling.
Courtesy of the author
There are 168 hours in a week. I probably spend at least a quarter of that doing something for my kids: scheduling appointments, driving, volunteering at school, and being there and present when they’re celebrating, hurting, overwhelmed, want to chat, or need a hug.
That’s at least 42 hours a week, a full-time job.
For almost two years, 84 weeks, I’ve tried one new thing a week. Some were once-in-a-lifetime like seeing a glacier in Alaska, my first visit to Disneyland, or watching northern lights from my driveway. Others have stuck — tap dancing, keeping a book journal, and playing Dungeons and Dragons as a family.
Courtesy of the author
I also keep a to-do list of new places, experiences, people, and ideas. As graduation and this life change approach, I’m glad exploration is a mindset, a habit.
I’m investing in new friendships and community involvement
Most of my life, I only had time for work friends. When we didn’t have the common frustration of the job to connect on anymore, the friendship faded. Making the commitment to try new things resulted in meeting new people. For the first time in years, I have female friends, plural, and really good ones.
Disney fans, theater moms, career changers in the UK and NYC, the manager at my dog’s day care — all are amazing, busy women, but we make time for each other. For the first time, I am prioritizing friendships.
Next year, with some of that 42-or-so hours of free time, I’ll spend it exploring the world, helping small businesses, and doing something my kids find interesting.
Despite my planning, mental preparation, and list making, seeing my youngest walk across that stage in a cap and gown will be an emotionally overwhelming moment — fear of the unknown, excitement for what’s next, and a whole lot of pride.
The post I’m not going to have kids in the house soon. I’m already thinking about what to do with my free time. appeared first on Business Insider.
