I’m a founder and single parent. Here are 5 ways I stay on top of work and my kids, from shared calendars to outsourcing help.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Carrie Colbert, the 48-year-old founder and general partner of Curate Capital, based in Houston, Texas. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

For 10 years, I worked as an executive in the energy industry, putting in up to 12-hour days at the office. I was always in awe of how my colleagues with young children balanced work and family.

I started investing as an angel investor for five years before launching my own venture capital fund, Curate Capital, in 2020.

I didn’t expect to have children. Motherhood was not something I was passionate about. However, I had my first child at 40 in 2017 and my second at 43 in 2020. They’ve been the best surprises and unexpected blessings of my life.

My life before kids looked very different

I had to commute daily, working in the office for up to 12 hours a day. There was a lot of business travel, and my schedule was rigid. I made a lot of money, but I had little flexibility to enjoy it during the week. I spent my free time traveling and shopping, and dining with friends.

Now, my work schedule is based on my kids’ schedules, and my evenings are reserved for them. I have a core group of friends, but there are rarely impromptu meet-ups. There is a lot less travel, and I don’t have the extra income to buy designer bags and clothes.

In this season of my life, I have two priorities: building my business and raising my children. Everything gets filtered through those two priorities.

Women get told we can do it all, but I don’t think we can do it all at once. We have to adjust our expectations and priorities for various seasons of life.

To achieve the right balance, I rely on outsourcing help, planning my weeks, and dedicating non-negotiable time to specific activities.

Outsource help

Our nanny has been with us for three years and is like family. I’ve hired a nanny since my children were born. Having a nanny is a non-negotiable priority for me, and I’ve had to budget accordingly to afford this privilege.

She handles the school pickups, plans after-school activities, feeds them dinner in the evening, and occasionally helps with bathtime.

Our nanny is more like a house manager. She will run errands, shop, tidy, and finish small tasks around the house. We keep a running list of long-term projects that need to be done, too — like cleaning out the kids’ closets.

I wouldn’t survive without her, especially as a single mom with no family support system nearby.

I use a shared calendar, with all the kids’ activities, and a to-do list with my nanny. We also share a budgeting app, as she pays for things like shopping and children’s activities.

I also depend on my cleaner of nearly 20 years, who does a deep clean every two weeks.

With the help of our nanny and cleaner, I can focus on being with my kids when I’m home.

I’ve also built a support system within my community. There is an older couple in our building who’ve become like grandparents to my children and almost like parents to me. Earlier this week, I got stuck in a meeting downtown, and they jumped in and had the children for a few hours.

Prioritize flexibility

As a business owner, I can schedule my workweek with flexibility in mind.

Every week, I write down all of my kids’ priorities in a virtual and paper planner: when we wake up, school drop-offs, bedtimes, and any extracurriculars. I then organize my professional responsibilities around these anchor points.

I don’t know how I could have done this in a corporate environment.

Having a small team that I trust helps me delegate work responsibilities when I have life priorities that pull me away from the business. With such a high degree of trust in my team, I don’t have to micromanage details.

Set clear boundaries

When I get home in the evenings, my phone goes away. I’d rather work late than bring it home.

My kids and I have such a small window of time together, especially on weeknight evenings, so I want to be fully present with them. I don’t get the computer back out late at night. Once I put the kids to sleep, I need rest.

I am also instilling this in my team. If the kids are out of the house on the weekends and I squeeze in a little bit of work, I schedule emails to be sent Monday morning. I don’t want to encroach on my team’s family time.

Prioritize self-care

If I am going to parent and work well, my two priorities in this season, I know I need to take care of myself.

Daily exercise is non-negotiable. It’s important for my physical health and stress relief. After I put my children’s activities in the calendar, I slot in exercise. I used the gym in my condo for 15 minutes on the treadmill and 10 minutes of weights.

Each morning, I practice prayer and meditation, and in the evening, gratitude with my children.

Time for hobbies usually involves my kids. I love golf and have gotten my son into it as well. My daughter is very creative, so she and I enjoy crafts together. I can’t set aside alone time for hobbies this season, but it’s been fun to integrate my children into the activities I love.

Setting realistic expectations

Every day, I remind myself to aim for progress rather than perfection. Every day, I write down my three most important work tasks. If by the end of the day I’ve made progress on those three things, I know I’ve achieved something that day. It keeps me from being too hard on myself, and allows me to be present when I’m with my kids

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