Elon Musk would like to see himself as Marty McFly as he heads out of the White House and back to the future.
Or as misunderstood genius Will Hunting, without any of the goodwill he believes he deserves.
But right now, the richest man in the world is about as popular as Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
After unparalleled success in the private sector, Musk thought he could school the federal government on how to run the country. His methods had been astonishingly successful in his businesses, from electric cars to space rockets to tunnels and social media. Strip them down, jettison the waste, cut through bureaucracy, promote experimentation, and keep his own hands on the wheel.
But after 130 days as Donald Trump’s Slasher-in-Chief, Musk is leaving Washington, D.C. with a failing grade. He will get none of the accolades he believed were coming his way after taking control of the Department of Government Efficiency in the heady aftermath of paying his way into Donald Trump’s inner circle.
He put $250 million into the Trump campaign and then lost billions more when the markets rebelled against the president and his prodigal son.
“It’s sort of, how much pain is, you know, are the cabinet and is Congress willing to take?” Musk told reporters when asked about DOGE. “Because it can be done, but it requires dealing with a lot of complaints.”
In the end, people decided to hate Musk more than Trump. “There’s been some blowback for the time that I’ve been spending in government,” he was forced to admit. It wasn’t too different inside the White House, where he was regarded as a loose cannon because of his relentless posts on his X social media platform.
Eventually, even Trump had enough. Musk’s request to see the Pentagon’s war plans for China was the final straw, and he was phased out of the picture.
Musk returns to Texas, where he has bought a new home and has based some of his businesses, with his chainsaw blunted and his reputation as a winner forever tainted. His first term paper was a bust. And it cost him much more than money.
Here’s his Report Card
ELON MUSK
District of Columbia
Period ending: May 29, 2025
MATH: D(OGE). Poor execution. Failed to meet targets. Set initial goal of $2 trillion in cuts in the federal government. Lowered target to $1 trillion. Final estimate of $150 billion in waste, savings, and cuts. Sums don’t add up.
ACCOUNTING: E. Net worth down from $464 billion to $386.5 billion in 5 months. Where did all that money go?
DRIVER’S ED: D. Could try harder. Tesla stock price has plunged 45% while absent in Washington. More focus required.
SPACE: A+. Dreamer. (+ $5.9 billion DoD SpaceX contract to send intelligence satellites into space)
SEX ED: A for effort. 14 children and counting. “If you don’t make new humans, there’s no humanity,” he said. “I do have a lot of kids, and I encourage others to have lots of kids.”
LANGUAGE: C- for gobbledygook. He called his latest son X Æ A-Xii.
GAMING: DISQ. Cheating/Lied about abilities. His ‘Path of Exile’ account was active while Musk was attending Trump’s inauguration.
SOCIAL MEDIA: X.
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: A(I).
COMMENTS: A loner. Elon joined the class of 2025 as the teacher’s pet but fell out with his classmates. Struggled for popularity. His only friend was his son, 4. Overzealous and somewhat lacking in empathy. Dropping out (not for the first time; he quit Stanford after just 2 days in 1995). Probably best he’s moving on.
OVERALL GRADES:
EFFORT: A+
PROGRESS: F
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