Dear Dave,
My fiancé and I are getting married this year. We’re both in our 40s with kids, so we’ll be a blended family. The thing that worries me is that we have drastically different views on handling money. I’m a saver, and he’s a spender. I also make significantly more money than he does. He’s been trying to get his production company in Tampa off the ground for about 10 years, making $50,000 a year. I’m an accountant, and I make $300,000 a year. Considering the uniqueness of the situation, would it be easier for us to keep separate financial lives? I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be hard talking him into being more responsible with money at his age.
— Lisa
Why couples should find common financial ground
Dear Lisa,
You’re going to burn a lot of calories either way, aren’t you? Either you folks are going to do the hard work of getting on the same page together, or you’re going to essentially work against each other and underperform. In your lives and your finances.
All the data we’ve collected shows that the couple who win with money are the couples who work together. Nearly 80% of the 10,000+ millionaires we interviewed in “The National Study of Millionaires” were married. On top of that, 80% of them said they were able to build that kind of wealth because they were working together financially with their spouse, instead of despite their spouse.
As far as your fiancé and his business are concerned, it doesn’t take 10 years to get a business off the ground. If you know your stuff, it takes about 10 months. So, he doesn’t really have a small business. He has a hobby. Don’t get me wrong. I admire the dude’s commitment and ambitious spirit. It may just be a case of him being good at what he does but not being good at running a business. Accidental entrepreneurs happen a lot, and that’s not a sin. He may just need to educate himself on the how of running a business successfully.
Along those lines, I’d recommend that he pick up a copy of “The E-Myth” by Michael E. Gerber. It’s a great read for anyone looking to evaluate their small business and get it moving in the right direction. But if that’s not the answer, he needs to find a different career. My guess is he could double what he’s making now working for someone else in the production world in a place like Tampa.
Looking at you two on the surface, you’ve got a chance to build a beautiful life together. That’s not going to happen, though, if one or both of you are in denial about a job or your finances. The awkwardness of you making literally six times what he makes — and his business situation — needs to be discussed with a good premarital counselor before you two walk down the aisle.
God bless you two, Lisa!
— Dave
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