The pop-music adage “Don’t bore us, get to the chorus” is often attributed to the Motown founder Berry Gordy. The sentiment, when applied to film, could generally sum up the approach of the director Guy Ritchie.
In his new movie, “Fountain of Youth,” Ritchie opens with a furious chase through the alleys, into the video arcades and over the fruit stalls of Bangkok. On a motorcycle is Luke Purdue (John Krasinski), who’s just purloined a priceless work of art — it’s what he does — and in a vehicle with lots of automatic weapons are some very irate and skeevy-looking journeyman villains.
Having evaded his pursuers and boarded a train out of Bangkok, Luke figures he can relax, but no. He is confronted by the lovely Esme (Eiza González, now appearing in her second Ritchie picture), who informs Luke, “I recover rare and unique paintings. Sometimes in leather tubes.” Luke laughs her off; he’s hardly going to let her have the goods. Then she warns him: “I am the hand of mercy. My employers are the hand of judgment.”
What’s any of this got to do with the title fountain? It’s mildly complicated, involving a message that can only be deciphered by looking at the backs of a particular group of priceless artworks. Luke is compelled to seek the help of his disapproving sister Charlotte (Natalie Portman), a museum curator; the pair are convinced by a dying billionaire named Owen Carver (Domhnall Gleeson) that the fountain can be found, and that they should find it for him. And off they all go, continent hopping. Once they reach their destination, we learn that the fountain not only de-ages you, it makes you look like computer-generated art. So that’s something.
The movie acknowledges its many antecedents; it’s mentioned that Luke and Charlotte are “the children of the famed archaeologist Harrison Perdue,” get it? Besides the hint of Indiana Jones, several scenes also bring to mind the “National Treasure” movies, because they’re set in worlds with great libraries and museums and peopled with characters who, under any other circumstances, would never in a million years set foot in them.
Having made his career playing perhaps the ultimate beta male on the television series “The Office,” Krasinski has since ardently pursued alpha roles, playing the reluctant C.I.A. man of action Jack Ryan on the Amazon series of the same name. Still, his ready smile tends to make him instantaneously agreeable, a quality you don’t get from other Ritchie leading men such as Henry Cavill and Jason Statham. Here, the quality doesn’t provide much credibility or added value. Instead, it makes you more sympathetic to Charlotte, who’s almost always scowling at her goofball brother. Stanley Tucci turns up in a Vatican-set cameo, which makes you wonder if he just roosted in the Holy City after completing “Conclave.”
Fountain of Youth
Rated PG-13 for some salty language. Running time: 2 hours 5 minutes. Watch on Apple TV+.
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