With so much focus on Prince Harry and King Charles‘ estrangement, it’s easy to forget that Prince William has also had a tricky relationship with his father.
William and Charles made a rare joint appearance this week at the Order of the Bath service at Westminster Abbey to mark 300th anniversary of the order, and William didn’t seem entirely thrilled to be there. More on that below.
Meanwhile, a flattering report in The Sunday Times rejected any characterization of Charles relationship with his sons as “distant.”
A “royal insider” is cited in the piece as saying, “I don’t think he was emotionally distant. That was one of the great myths and one of the great untruths that Diana propagated, that Charles was cold and not fun with the children, and that she was the fun one.”
It is truly incredible that some people in the Windsor orbit are still interested in rubbishing Diana’s name, but this renewed effort to rewrite history to portray Charles as a warm and avuncular father should not stand unchallenged.
First off: A young Prince Charles appeared happy to be photographed holding 2-year-old Prince William’s hand as they arrived at St. Mary’s Hospital to meet newborn Prince Harry in September 1984. However, in Harry’s memoir Spare, Charles exclaimed to Princess Diana on the day he was born, “Wonderful! Now you’ve given me an heir and a spare—my work is done.” According to Harry, Charles then left to play polo immediately afterward.
Elsewhere in Spare, Harry describes Charles as a “loving, but sometimes distant father” who rarely showed physical affection.
In the 2021 Apple TV+ series The Me You Can’t See, Harry recalled his father saying to both boys at unhappy moments during their childhood: “Well, it was like that for me, so it’s going to be like that for you.”
However, Harry had a damning verdict on this stiff-upper-lip philosophy: “That doesn’t make sense. Just because you suffered, that doesn’t mean your kids have to suffer,” he said
In a candid livestream conversation in March 2023 with trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté (part of the promotion of Spare), Harry discussed the “lack of touching” and hugging in the royal household. He noted that his father loved his sons deeply, “but he just couldn’t show it” in the way they needed, because of how he himself was raised in an emotionally reserved family.
Moreover, there is little argument among William’s friends that Charles’ emotional remoteness extended to his relationship with William. Charles even reportedly became jealous of the public adulation William and Kate had generated.
“Pa and Camilla didn’t like Willy and Kate drawing attention away from them or their causes,” Harry wrote in Spare, noting that “they’d openly scolded Willy about it many times.”
Harry also described how William discovered that Charles (and Queen Camilla) had a hand in leaking unflattering stories about William and Kate to the tabloids. Harry writes that his brother was left “seething” and “justifiably incandescent” upon learning that “Pa and Camilla’s people had planted a story or stories about him and Kate, and the kids” in the press.
A friend of William’s told The Royalist, “The boys certainly did have a difficult relationship with Charles after their mother died. It was part of what brought them so close together and why their estrangement today is so awfully sad.”
Order of the wet blanket?
Prince William’s grumpy expression this week as he carried out that joint engagement with his father showed, perhaps, why such double headers are vanishingly rare.
Father and son, clad in magnificent robes of crimson, were the principal celebrants at an anachronistic service celebrating what should by rights be a long-forgotten chivalric order, the Order of the Bath.
The Order originated in the eighth century, and the name is taken from the ritual washing that was undertaken by gentlemen in preparation for the conferment of knighthood.
William was installed Friday as Great Master, a role he inherited from his father, who was ceremonially handing it on at the service.
It’s hard to put your finger on exactly what look was pasted onto William’s face as he made his way through Westminster Cathedral, but suffice to say: He didn’t look especially thrilled by the honor.
One friend of the prince told the Daily Beast, “This is exactly the kind of medieval cosplay William thinks is ridiculous. He understands and respects tradition, but this kind of event is hardly telegraphing a monarchy which is modern and relevant.”
William has made no secret of his desire to be rid of many of the bells and whistles of royal pomp, saying in November last year, “I can only describe what I’m trying to do and that’s trying to do it differently and I’m trying to do it for my generation. I’m doing it with maybe a smaller r in the royal.”
A source close to William, when asked, dismissed suggestions that the Prince of Wales had reservations about the Order of the Bath service.
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