My boyfriend and I are long-distance. We want to live together eventually, but for now, we’re focusing on our personal goals.

My boyfriend and I hit it off at a mutual friend’s birthday party and went on a date a few days later. Though he lives in Boston and I live in New Jersey, we still wanted to keep seeing each other.

When I went to visit him about two weeks later, he asked me to be his girlfriend while we were at an EDM concert. But I was worried we were moving too fast, and I rejected him.

Things changed on the morning of our last day together. I had a seizure while we were having breakfast together, and he came with me to the hospital. It was then that I realized how serious he was about me, and we made it official in the emergency room. That was two years ago, and we’ve been together ever since.

We always say ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’

Being five hours away from my boyfriend is difficult, but we have a lot of things we do to make it work. For example, we always say “good morning” and “good night” — this may not seem important, but being able to start and end our day with the thought of each other helps us remember that we always have one another.

We text and call as much as we can, but we also try to get at least one FaceTime call in a day. FaceTime helps us feel as though we’re together physically, even when we aren’t.

Despite our efforts, time apart is saddening. There is a certain type of grief that comes with a long-distance relationship. The physical feeling of losing your partner every time you leave each other is agonizing, even when you know it’s just temporary.

We plan exciting dates when we’re together

Sometimes, it can feel like I’m counting every minute of every day: the time we have until we see each other, the time we have together until he leaves, and then repeat. It can get exhausting, but it’s also what makes our moments much more special.

In the limited time we have together, we try to do something exciting. We plan fun dates and go to concerts and festivals. Between visits, we plan almost every detail, like where we’re going, how we’re getting there, and my favorite, what we’re wearing. We’re both really into fashion and like to create matching outfits, especially for music festivals and raves.

We also plan low-key fun nights at home, which consist of a bottle of wine, watching anime, and listening to music. Sometimes, we do this while we’re apart, but it’s always better together.

Our time apart is just as important as our time together

I don’t think a partner should define how I live my life, and the time we spend apart is just as important as the time we spend together. If I were to put all my happiness on the shoulders of my partner, it would be difficult to grow on my own.

My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s. He works for USPS while planning to finish school, and I’m looking for a full-time job. The distance gives us time to focus on our goals while supporting each other from afar. It also gives us the opportunity to have different experiences and talk about them when we come back together.

We hope to move in together soon, but we also know that we need to accomplish our goals so we can afford to live together without giving up the exciting things we like to do together.

It is hard not to have the opportunity to be together physically, but we’re not in a rush, and for now, we’ve found ways to make it work and appreciate what we have, including our moments apart.

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