Situationships are all the rage today, apparently. While many people—usually just one partner involved—are partial to this dynamic, others unintentionally find themselves falling into this trap while wishing for an actual committed relationship.
If you’re wondering whether you’ve fallen victim to this unfulfilling relational arrangement, here are six signs you’re in a situationship.
1. There’s no label.
While it’s totally normal not to label your relationship early on in dating, if there’s still no title or talk of one several months in…you’re probably in a situationship.
Many people are afraid of commitment and claim—even with the promise of exclusivity—they simply “don’t like labels.” If that’s really how they feel, well, they’re basically telling you they don’t want an actual relationship. Instead of hoping they’ll change their mind in time, ask yourself whether you’re willing to accept this kind of dynamic. The more you give relationship benefits without a title, the more likely the other person will continue to take advantage of you.
2. There’s no talk of exclusivity.
What’s seemingly even worse than no title is no exclusivity, especially if there’s physical intimacy involved. While, again, you might not jump to being exclusive right away, if there’s still no sort of commitment after months on end, you are likely trapped in a situationship with someone who wants to either sleep around and keep their options open.
Of course, many people are totally fine with this dynamic. But if you’re not looking for a casual hookup, you’ll want to put some boundaries on the relationship. When it comes to intimacy, it’s a matter of health and well-being.
3. You have inconsistent communication.
If you hear from someone sparingly or only at certain times of the night/weekend, you might be in a situationship. A healthy relationship involves consistent and sufficient communication, as well as genuine efforts to connect throughout the week.
Surface-level conversations or late-night booty calls do not count here. Someone who only reaches out when they want to hook up or have nothing better to do is not grounds for a successful relationship. This shows they’re not willing to prioritize you or focus on building an actual relationship.
4. You rarely talk about the future.
If there is no talk of future plans, whether about defining the relationship or taking next steps, you might be in a dead-end, temporary situationship. While you don’t need to be discussing marriage and kids early on in dating, simple conversations about your mutual wants and needs are crucial. If you’re constantly in the mindset of “let’s just see where this goes…” without any sort of expectation or boundaries, you will likely end up in this type of dynamic.
5. There’s a lack of emotional connection.
An emotional connection is essential in every healthy relationship. However, many people—especially some of today’s daters—are averse to vulnerability. In other words, they don’t feel comfortable opening up about themselves, having deep conversations, expressing their wants/needs, or listening to others’.
If you’re not establishing emotional safety or an emotional connection, you’re not building a solid foundation for a romantic relationship. You likely will feel lonely, misunderstood, and perhaps even inferior to the other person. These feelings play into the toxic push and pull of situationships.
6. You mainly focus on physical/sexual intimacy.
Though you might lack emotional intimacy in a situationship, you probably have a ton of physical and sexual intimacy. Oftentimes, situationships are built on sexual desire, attraction, and chemistry rather than safety, support, and a meaningful connection. If you feel more comfortable taking off your clothes than you do expressing your feelings to the other person, that’s a major red flag that you’re in a situationship.
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