If your dating life is a long scroll of icks—like the way they chew, talk, sit, blink—you may want to pause before blaming your ex.
According to a new study published in Personality and Individual Differences, people who frequently experience “the ick” tend to score higher in traits like narcissism and other-oriented perfectionism. In short, you might be the problem.
“The ‘ick’ has become an increasingly prevalent topic over the last few decades,” lead author Eliana Saunders, a graduate student at Azusa Pacific University, told PsyPost. “We found references to this phenomenon on social media and TV shows dating back to the mid-90s.”
But its recent resurgence, especially among younger singles on TikTok, sparked a closer look. The researchers analyzed over 80 viral videos and surveyed 125 single adults to figure out what kinds of behaviors triggered the ick—and who was most likely to feel it.
Turns out, some people are more ick-prone than others. People with high narcissism scores were more likely to experience a sudden wave of revulsion when a partner fell short of their idealized expectations. These icks weren’t random—they were targeted reactions to perceived imperfections. Meanwhile, perfectionists who imposed high standards on others reported feeling the ick more often, and from a wider range of triggers.
Disgust sensitivity was also linked to stronger ick reactions, though not necessarily more frequent ones. And while women were slightly more likely to talk about the ick, both men and women reported experiencing it at similar rates, just in response to different things. Women were more likely to flag misogynistic behavior or embarrassing public actions, while men cited vanity and “overly trendy” behavior as turn-offs.
“I thought it was surprising that about a quarter of participants reported ending a relationship immediately upon experiencing the ick,” Saunders said. “While this feeling of disgust could be a valid marker of mate incompatibility, it could also be a symptom of high sensitivity to disgust, narcissism, [or] other-oriented perfectionism.”
So if you’ve ever dumped someone because their feet dangled off the chair or they said “yum” too many times, maybe take a beat. According to behavioral neuroscientist Dr. Kyra Bobinet, our brains are wired with a negativity bias. “This area of your brain is scouting for anything that’s not going to work out for you,” she told Fox News Digital.
Before you ghost someone over how they eat a sandwich, maybe consider that the ick might say more about your own baggage than theirs. Are you looking for love, or just filtering out anything that doesn’t fit your aesthetic?
The post If You’re Always Getting the Ick, It Might Be Your Fault appeared first on VICE.
