Tonight on SNL, Walton Goggins appeared in a sketch set at the Constitutional Convention, centered on debate over the second amendment.
The sketch opens after the first amendment is settled on, with delegate James Austin Johnson wondering what the group might frame as “the second most important principle of our nation.”
“Guns!” says a character played by Goggins.
“Excuse me?” Johnson asks, with Goggins simply repeating himself.
“I don’t hate that,” says a delegate played by Mikey Day.
“Well, I do. It’s ridiculous,” says Johnson. “Sir, what is your name?”
(It’s Matt.)
“Matt what?” asks Johnson.
“Matt Don’t You Worry About It,” says Goggins.
“Well, Matt, what will posterity say of us if the second right we enshrine in this document is simply guns?” Johnson wonders.
“That we don’t play,” he says.
“Damn, that’s actually kind of sick,” says Andrew Dismukes, one of a group of delegates who quickly come to take Matt’s side.
Johnson says “this is ludicrous,” with Day arguing, “We did just make a law that said anyone can say whatever crazy stuff they want, right? Maybe this gun thing would kind of balance that out.”
“Bingo,” says Goggins.
“Okay, yes. But by the same token, wouldn’t having a gun embolden people to say crazy stuff as well?” Johnson asks.
“Bro, what?” asks Goggins.
“Gentlemen, we cannot just have an amendment that says ‘guns.’ What about guns?” asks Johnson.
“Having them,” Goggins asserts.
Johnson says he’s open to discussing guns “for a later amendment,” but insists on moving on to more pressing concerns for the moment. He asks Matt which state he’s from, with Goggins’ character replying, “a united one.”
“Have guns? Really, gentlemen? That’s what we want the second amendment to be? ‘Have guns.’ That sounds idiotic,” says Johnson.
“Just chill. Not have guns. Bear arms,” Goggins replies.
“Ah, yeah. Okay. I’m freaking sold. I’m writing it down,” says Johnson.
With that, Matt’s work is done, and he turns to leave the room.
“Wait, Matt, will we ever see you again?” asks Johnson, with Goggins replying, “Depends on where you look.”
“Nobody ever did see him” though, a narrator tells us, “as he was shot minutes after leaving the room.”
Goggins hosted tonight, with Arcade Fire as musical guest. Watch the full sketch above.
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