All relationships, no matter how healthy and fulfilling, fall into ruts sometimes. Thankfully, there are ways to get them back on track.
Are you and your partner struggling to reignite that spark? Here are 10 ways to spice up your relationship.
1. Do something spontaneous
Trust me, I get it. Many of us are working long hours and don’t have the money to afford luxury vacations or last-minute plans. But you can embrace spontaneity in little ways, such as by taking a random late-night drive to look at the stars with your lover or walking downtown to see some live music. In other words, get out of your normal routine and comfort zone as a couple, and see where it takes you.
2. Designate a ‘date night’
Every week (or whatever fits your schedule), try to plan one designated date night when you and your partner can connect. Maybe you make standing dinner reservations, or perhaps you cook together in your kitchen. Whatever it might be, make sure you’re finding alone time in your hectic schedule.
3. Surprise your partner
The little things can go a long way. Whether it’s a sticky note on the mirror before work or a bouquet of roses and your lover’s favorite candy, small gestures can make all the difference in a relationship. Basically, you want to show your person that you’re thinking of and considering them.
4. Get (emotionally) deep
When was the last time you and your partner had a long heart-to-heart about your feelings? The conversation doesn’t necessarily have to relate to your relationship. For example, my partner and I often find the time to talk about topics like our current life stressors, passions, and personal goals. This helps us stay intellectually engaged and emotionally connected.
5. Turn off all technology
No matter how much time you might spend with someone, if you’re constantly on your phone, you won’t ever be fully present. This can rob you of quality time and opportunities to fully connect. Pick a day where it’s all about you two—sans phones, computers, TVs, etc.
6. Plan a getaway
Even if it’s just one night out of town, a small escape from the mundane can help you reconnect as a couple. Go to your nearest city for a concert, or escape to nature for some peace and quiet.
7. Express your gratitude
Oftentimes, and usually unintentionally, we get so caught up in our lives that we end up taking our partners for granted. Make the time to thank your partner for all they do, all they are, and the energy and light they bring into your life. Be sure to highlight the things you love most about them, offering affirmations that remind them why and how much you love them.
8. Take some space
While it might sound counterintuitive, taking some space from your partner and relationship can help you get out of a rut. Additionally, it might make you realize you’re taking each other for granted. Fill up your own cup/
9. Get intimate
Intimacy is crucial in a romantic relationship. This isn’t just about sex (though it certainly can be). There are various forms of intimacy, from physical (think: massages and cuddling) to emotional (think: expressing vulnerabilities) to experiential (think: creating core memories or learning something new together).
10. Engage in parallel play
Okay, hear me out: parallel play doesn’t just have to be for kids. In fact, this can help you and your partner reconnect with your inner child selves.
Simply hang out in the same room while working on separate passion projects. For example, my boyfriend and I will often dedicate one night per week to work on our own passions while still spending time together. He’ll write music while I write my novel, and occasionally, we’ll stop to get each other’s opinions on our work. This is a fulfilling practice that helps us maintain our independence while still fostering a sense of closeness.
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