Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Trump, the Tease
President Donald Trump said Tuesday that he would make a big announcement in the next few days, keeping the details elusive.
On Wednesday’s “Daily Show,” Desi Lydic said, “it’s great to have a president who does teaser trailers for world events.”
“It’s like when F.D.R. said, ‘We only have one thing to fear, and I’ll tell you what it is after the break!’” — DESI LYDIC
“This is Donald Trump, so his big announcement could be anything from ‘I’ve achieved peace in the Middle East’ to ‘I just tried bucatini, and I’m never going back to regular spaghetti.’” — DESI LYDIC
“This could literally be about anything. He could be getting rid of the tariffs or installing a Big Mac button on the White House desk.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Maybe Melania’s pregnant again. Wouldn’t that be sweet, to have a baby — another baby in the White House?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“This had better not be another set of his Trump NFTs or a golf tournament that he won. This feels like a dad who’s a gambling addict telling his family, ‘I have big news, we’re moving into an RV!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But this is what happens when you put a loose cannon into the White House. This — it could be about anything from new tariffs to announcing our next attorney general is Gary Busey. Best-case scenario, Don Jr.’s rabies test comes back negative.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Pope O’Clock Edition)
“Well, guys, today over 130 cardinals gathered at the Vatican to begin the process of choosing a new pope. Yeah, and this was nice: The conclave started with a prayer for all those currently flying in and out of Newark airport.” — JIMMY FALLON
“The conclave began this morning at 10 a.m., Roman time, but it’s always Pope o’clock somewhere.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Yeah, today the doors of the Sistine Chapel were sealed, and they debated over who should be pope and whether 100 cardinals could defeat a gorilla.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Right now, the big question is whether they’ll elect a liberal pope or a conservative pope. And somehow it all will come down to who appears on Joe Rogan’s podcast.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Who’s it going to be? A front-runner who’s been around for decades? Or a surprise newcomer like Cardinal Mikey Madison?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The conclave to pick Pope Francis only took two days, whereas the conclave to pick Pope Gregory took three years. That was because Cardinal MyPillow Guy kept saying the machines were rigged.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“We knew the conclave would only hold one vote today, around 9 p.m., Catholic standard time. We got black smoke from the ‘RoofTube,’ indicating the cardinals had not reached a consensus. In other words, ‘Hope of a pope? Nope.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Black smoke means they haven’t made a choice yet. White smoke means they’ve chosen. Green smoke means they’re getting baked as all get-out.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Andy Samberg and John Mulaney do dramatic readings of fan fiction on Wednesday’s “Everybody’s Live.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The newly reunited rock band Rilo Kiley will perform on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
The award-winning actresses Lorraine Bracco, Brenda Vaccaro, Talia Shire and Susan Sarandon discussed working together on the new Netflix film, “Nonnas.”
The post Late Night Anxiously Awaits the Unveiling of Trump’s Big News appeared first on New York Times.
