Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Presidents Say the Darndest Things
During a “Meet the Press” interview that aired on Sunday, President Trump was asked whether he had to uphold the Constitution. He replied, “I don’t know.”
“Wow, they talked a lot about Biden’s mental decline, but this guy can’t even remember stuff from, like, four months ago,” Seth Meyers said on Monday.
“Well, it’s been great, folks, but that’s it — I think we can roll credits on the United States.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“On ‘Millionaire,’ that’d be the warm-up question, like ‘What color is an orange?’ or ‘Name a planet with people on it.’ I mean, if you can’t answer that the president’s supposed to uphold the Constitution, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t even let you become a citizen.” — JON STEWART
“It’s the same answer he gives when they ask where Melania lives: ‘I don’t know, I’d have to ask my lawyers.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The Constitution isn’t one of Don Jr.’s birthdays. You can’t just ignore it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Trump, asked about the economy, also doubled down on his suggestion that children could get by with fewer toys. “I don’t think a beautiful baby girl needs — that’s 11 years old needs to have 30 dolls,” he said. “I think they can have three dolls, or four dolls.”
“Right, think of them like wives: Two, three, four would be a good number.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“All you need to know about the relationship he has with his daughters and granddaughters is he thinks 11-year-olds still play with dolls.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. It’s a beautiful 11-year-old baby! You did so well in your 44th trimester.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“In response, Pokémon has rolled out their new slogan: ‘Pokémon, Gotta Catch a Couple!’” — SETH MEYERS
“I mean, who runs on a pledge of ‘Let’s make Christmas worse for children’?” — BILL MAHER
“A billionaire telling kids they need to cut back on dolls. That is some world-class political messaging right there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Every interview now is like an episode of ‘Kids Say the Darndest Things.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (May the Fourth Edition)
“Trump also posted some bizarre AI-generated images this weekend. Some more offensive than others. First up was him as the Pope. Now, as a Catholic, let me just say, in the words of St. Peter, go [expletive] yourself.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It’s not the most presidential thing, but Trump and the pope do share the same taste in interior design, so it’s not the worst fit.” — JON STEWART
“I have to say I knew this would happen. I predicted it when he went to the funeral. He saw all the gold at the Vatican and thought, ‘I could live here. This feels right to me.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He was like, ‘Feeling blasphemous, might delete later.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“The White House yesterday shared an AI-generated image of President Trump with a lightsaber to celebrate Star Wars Day. And I think it says something that the lightsaber is the most believable part. Whose arm is that supposed to be? Is he from a planet where the only food is steroids?” — SETH MEYERS
“He probably thinks those are his real arms.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump is presenting himself as a Jedi, but his lightsaber is red, and the only way you can have a red lightsaber is by infusing its Kyber crystal with the power of your rage and hate, thereby corrupting it into a vessel for the dark side. Therefore — therefore — every one of those photos that Trump is putting out there, he’s admitting — he is admitting! — he’s not a Jedi, but in fact a Sith Lord.” — JON STEWART
“In one weekend, he upset the two most religious groups of people on the planet — Catholics and ‘Star Wars’ fans.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The Fourth may be with you, but I’m not. But I do want to extend my congratulations to Jar Jar Binks for no longer being the most despised character in the Star Wars universe.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Noah Wyle, star of “The Pitt,” was quizzed about his knowledge of “commonly used medical tools” on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle will discuss their popular podcast-turned-book, “We Can Do Hard Things,” on “The Daily Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Fans who saw “Thunderbolts*” on opening weekend were surprised by the new title revealed in the film’s closing credits.
The post Late Night on Trump, the Constitution and Playing With Dolls appeared first on New York Times.
