Jon Stewart is trying every trick in the book to keep his sanity throughout the second Trump term. Unfortunately for the late night host, it’s not working out well.
In his monologue Monday, he pulled out a new chart, with its y-axis labeled “OK?” and its x-axis labeled “Statements Over Time.” It seemed that the higher up the y-axis Stewart went, the less “OK” Trump’s statements were.
Stewart said the chart was to “help Americans figure out which of the things it’s OK to get upset about and which things are just him [Trump] f—ing off.”
The Daily Show host explained, “Let me show you how it works: first, we take something the President said…”
He showed a CNN news clip covering Trump’s declaration that he wants to reopen Alcatraz, the infamous long-closed prison near San Francisco.
Already, Stewart was struggling not to let Trump’s outrageous statements get the best of him.
“Sure, it’s okay,” he tried to reassure his audience as he began plotting the chart. “It’s the kind of thing that’s okay to just let go. It’s just a stupid thing to keep us occupied, to lose focus on his actual policies…” But of course, Stewart couldn’t help himself, growing into a rage.
“But why would you want to reopen Alcatraz!?” Stewart asked Trump. “What the f–k is that? Why would you want to do that?”
“What, did Trump think we’re low on prisons?” Stewart mused further. “Although I guess any opportunity for Trump to open a prison and simultaneously close a museum is too good to pass up.”
Stewart continued, “It’ll take hundreds of millions of dollars, or I don’t know how many dollars in pencils, but it’s a lot. Does DOGE know about this? Does Alcatraz?”
Eventually, Stewart remembered his chart.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “The chart was supposed to prevent this kind of over-emotional digression. This one’s on me. I am not leading a chart-based life right now. I apologize. I can do better.”
In the end, Stewart reminded viewers to do as he said, not as he did.
“The volatility of nonsense, from consequential to truly disorienting, is unfathomable,” Stewart said. “While we’re chasing Pope and Alcatraz stories, the Trump administration has gutted funding for America’s food banks.”
He continued, “They’ve hollowed out the FAA to the point where Newark Airport is basically inoperable, and not in its usual way. And then there’s this…”
He showed a news clip covering how Health Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr. laid off hundreds of federal employees responsible for helping 9/11 first responders.
Stewart, who has been a passionate advocate on and off-screen for 9/11 first responders, was furious at this.
“Do you know how bad you have to be to make the lives of sick 9/11 responders worse?” he asked. “The Trump administration is now number two on the 9/11 evil power rankings. Al-Qaeda’s still number one, but you’re closing the gap.”
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