Today, it seems many couples are simply checking boxes without actually embracing the small steps in their relationships.
Meeting family and friends, saying I love you, moving in together, getting engaged, planning a wedding, having kids—these are all milestones that society seemingly expects from us. And while they can be great goals for couples who want those commitments, there are many undervalued, emotional milestones, too.
Here are five important yet less acknowledged relationship milestones worth celebrating…
1. First disagreement
Your first time facing conflict as a couple will tell you a lot about you, your partner, and your relationship. How do you address stress together? Do you respect conflicting opinions/perspectives? Are you both willing to compromise? Do your values align enough to solve issues healthily?
If properly handled, your first disagreement can bring you closer together and strengthen your bond. Life is filled with stressors, and every relationship will involve arguments from time to time. What matters is how you solve and rise above them.
2. First time deepening intimacy
Intimacy is a huge milestone in any relationship. Of course, this doesn’t have to mean sex or physical closeness. Rather, it can be a time when you each share vulnerabilities or emotionally deepen the connection. Perhaps this looks like opening up about a trauma you’ve endured, or maybe it’s exploring each other’s desires and needs in the bedroom. Intimacy looks different for everyone, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it, so long as there is mutual respect and care.
3. First time navigating grief or personal struggles
As morbid as it sounds, life is filled with loss and suffering. You must choose the right partner who will stand by you and be part of your support system during those difficult times—and vice versa.
A major milestone in your relationship is facing grief or personal struggles for the first time. For example, maybe your partner suffers from depression and is going through a dark period. Or on the other hand, perhaps you lost a parent to cancer. Showing up for each other can deepen your bond and create more emotional safety.
4. First time celebrating each other’s success
Your partner shouldn’t just be there through the dark times; they should be there to celebrate your success, too. Personal success can be a great milestone in relationships, as it allows you both to relish in each other’s happiness, hard work, and fulfillment.
Some people grow envious of their partner’s success and end up either downplaying or even sabotaging it, tossing petty comments their way or refusing to make a big deal of it. Your partner should be proud of your accomplishments and want to celebrate them with you, and vice versa.
5. First trip together
Traveling and spending time together in close corners can be a milestone for many couples. This doesn’t have to be some luxurious, week-long vacation to another country or even state. Rather, it can count as an overnight stay in a hotel after a romantic night out in the city. Even just one partner staying at the other’s apartment for the first time can be an exciting step for new lovers.
While the above milestones might seem like your average steps toward commitment and intimacy, they’re important events that can strengthen connections and provide valuable insight into your relationship.
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