When I ask my friends how they feel about talking to their moms about their dating lives, I get quite mixed feedback. Some would rather gouge their eyes out than discuss dating prospects with their mother, while others are heavily reliant on their mom’s approval.
According to data by the dating app Hily, 46% of Gen Z American women, 35% of men, and 32% of Millennials wouldn’t date someone that their mother doesn’t like. Not only that, but 70% of Gen Z women, 66% of men, 58% of Millennial women, and 60% of men say they follow their mother’s relationship advice.
If this were the case for some of my friends, I don’t think they’d ever end up married.
What happens if Mom is overcritical of everyone you date? Or, on the other hand, what if she’s so desperate for you to find love that she’d push you to settle for anyone?
And then, of course, we have those overbearing boy moms who strangely get jealous of their sons’ partners…They can’t seem to be trusted with a ten-foot pull, but I digress.
The recent survey by Hily found that Gen Z tends to care more about Mom’s opinion than Millennials. On the other hand, 67% of Gen Z women, 59% of Millennial women, and 48% of men are at least willing to share first date details with their moms, while nearly half of young women and men have set boundaries when discussing dating with their mothers.
On the other hand, some people just have zero boundaries at all—which, of course, is a personal choice. I mean, if you consider Mom to be your best friend, it makes sense you might feel comfortable opening up about some more…personal…information.
Many women are open to sharing intimate details about their dating lives—28% of Gen Z women and 29% of Millennial women. However, only 13% of Gen Z men and 17% of Millennial men feel comfortable doing the same. Makes sense.
Generational differences in dating
Over half of young Americans say that generational differences impact how much they’re willing to share with Mom. In fact, 1 in 3 young people believe their mothers don’t fully understand modern dating. I can vouch for that. My mom was appalled to learn about today’s dating struggles, like situationships.
And how could you possibly explain to your innocent and trusting mother that today’s dating pool is filled with liars and cheaters? I mean, sure, that certainly happened in their day and age, too, but it seems to be an epidemic of sorts today.
Not to mention, most people don’t just…approach you in public anymore. It seems fewer people are looking for commitment or are ready to settle down, too, which was not as much of an issue back in our parents’ day, apparently.
But even so, 36% of Gen Z women and 28% of Millennial women said they’d like their moms would share more of their own dating experiences.
It’s always comforting to learn about your parents’ struggles in the dating world. At the very least, you might feel less alone and a little more hopeful that things will eventually work out for you.
Or, depending on their current relationship status or personal fulfillment, you’ll cower at the thought of ending up in the same boat as them.
However, despite these generational differences, and perhaps because discussing dating isn’t as taboo as it once was, more Gen Z women than Millennial women feel comfortable talking about their dating lives with their mothers. On the flip side, though, more Millennial men are more open than Gen Z men.
“Moms are still a presence in the background of young daters’ lives—maybe cheering from the sidelines, maybe giving some unsolicited opinions or genuine support,” Hily’s survey concluded. “Ultimately, most young daters aren’t letting their mom control their life, but they can and do accept if she has a point.”
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