I don’t know about you, but swiping on the dating apps has never helped my mental health. And though many people hop on for a quick hit of validation, it seems most users only end up feeling worse.
In fact, a new study by digital companion platform Joi AI (formerly EVA AI) found that 64% of dating users are feeling hopeless.
What’s more? Rather than gaining confidence through their matches, more than half are left questioning their self-worth.
“Dating apps can make some people feel bad about themselves, which lowers their self-confidence,” said Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, a licensed relationship therapist and relationship expert at Joi AI.
She also added that, depending on the individual, it can further affect existing mental health conditions.
“Some people have social anxiety, so it’s difficult for them to put themselves out there,” Bronstein said. “This can turn into a constant cycle of rejection and feeling invisible, where they are constantly reaching out, and not many are reaching back.”
The dark side of dating apps
I mean, these stats don’t shock me. While dating apps might help some people find decent connections, it seems they’ve caused users to develop increasingly shallow dating behaviors in recent years.
Most of my single friends—both men and women—end up either getting ghosted by their dates or just finding surface-level relationships on the apps. And personally, when I was on the apps on and off for years, I would get so overwhelmed by my conversations that I had to delete the entire thing.
It’s difficult to feel invested in a person—or multiple matches—when you’ve never even met them.
Not to mention, with so many options at our fingertips, it can be equal parts overwhelming to engage with current matches and tempting to continue swiping. But what once used to entice users to continue dating app usage has now dwindled.
“The dopamine hit that people get from a match is not happening nearly as much as it used to, and for some, it’s nonexistent,” Bronstein said. “That silence and the lack of feedback people experience aren’t as harmless as some may think. It stings and, over time, can make people feel unlovable, unworthy, and deeply alone.”
Joi AI’s survey also found that nearly 7 in 10 users report that their conversations rarely—if ever—turn into actual dates. It’s no wonder that the majority of users feel hopeless.
It’s not that people don’t want to find love today. I have a ton of male and female friends who are treating dating like a full-time job, yet still coming up short.
Rather, it feels more difficult to find authentic connections. Though it’s easier than ever to meet new prospects online, this might actually be our downfall. These quick, shallow exchanges with multiple people rarely translate into genuine relationships.
“We’re seeing more and more singles internalizing these experiences in some pretty damaging ways,” Bronstein said. “Dating apps promised connection, but for a lot of people, they’re doing the exact opposite, making them feel more depressed and emotionally disconnected than ever.”
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