Through no fault of its own, Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum has been thrust into the national discourse. Thanks to the bizarre and alarming comments that Robert F. Kennedy Jr., The U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services, has made about autism—which include everything from threatening to start a national registry to track those diagnosed with autism, to claiming that autistic individuals will never pay taxes, hold a job, or go on a date—the world has its eyes on the US’s approach to members in the autistic community.
With his series Love on the Spectrum, which follows the romantic journeys of adults with autism, director Cian O’Clery has already proven Kennedy wrong on at least one front. The third season of Love on the Spectrum, which O’Clery created with Karina Holden and production company Northern Pictures, has been in-and-out of Netflix’s top 10 most watched series on the platform ever since it debuted on April 2nd. “It’s kind of blown up in the last couple of days,” O’Clery tells Vanity Fair, of both his series and the discourse.
He didn’t have the U.S. government in mind when he created Love on the Spectrum in his native Australia six years ago. A three-time Emmy winning reality TV veteran who’s worked on the Australian version of dating shows like Married at First Sight, O’Clery was initially drawn to the idea of a reality dating series that didn’t have a competitive aspect. “I’ve worked in the reality space back in the day where it was a lot more difficult,” he says. “The people we work with are just so lovely and kind.”
Now, the people O’Clery works with are speaking out against RFK. Jr. In an interview with News Nation, Love on the Spectrum star Dani Bowman called Kennedy’s comments about the autistic community “completely false.” “Autistic people have the same hopes, dreams and, yes, the same awkward dating moments as anyone else,” she said. “To generalize and say none of us can work, date or contribute to society, is completely false. I have a job. I do pay taxes. I’ve dated. I have a master’s degree.”
On TikTok, Love on the Spectrum star James B. Jones said he found Kennedy’s comments to be “extremely ignorant, and to be perfectly frank, downright offensive.” “I am old enough, I am of sufficient age that I can remember a time when society did not have a very thorough understanding of autism or similar forms of neurodiversity,” he continued. “So, I am very displeased, very disheartened to hear someone make comments of that nature.”
O’Clery is proud of his cast for speaking truth to power. “Good for them for speaking up,” he says. “Obviously those comments are hurtful to some people. I think it’s great that people are turning to the cast from the series to be those voices of people who experienced this and who have the life experience to be able to speak to those things.”
Helming three seasons of Love on the Spectrum exposed O’Clery to the diverse array of individuals on the autism spectrum. “Meeting so many different people on the spectrum, we realized how very different each and every individual person is,” he says. “In the media space, traditionally, often a representation of autism would’ve been one character in the drama, often a white nerdy guy who’s good with computers.”
Below, O’Clery talks with VF about his inspiration for creating the series and where some of season three’s favorite couples stand now.
Vanity Fair: Where did the idea for Love on the Spectrum come from?
Cian O’Clery: It all started back in Australia. I was working with Northern Pictures on a different series that we were making for the Australian Public Broadcaster, which was about people with disabilities looking for employment. In the process of making that series, we met so many young adults on the spectrum. At the time, I think the disability community in Australia was about 40% autistic people.
We just met so many young adults in that process who expressed not just a desire to find work and employment, but to find love. There were a lot of people who were really struggling—some people in their 20s, 30s, who’d never even been on a date but really wanted to find love. That was something super-important to them.
It felt like there was a bit of a lack of support in that space. There was a lot of support in the disability employment area. [Australia has] government funding for organizations to help people with that, which is great. But, at the time, there wasn’t anything in the dating and relationship space. That’s such an important part of who we are, what makes us tick. It felt like a really interesting space to explore.
Love on the Spectrum feels authentic to the lived experience of the cast members with autism, but never feels exploitative of them. How do you walk that line?
The simple answer is that we care for the people we’re filming. We like them and we want what’s best for them. That’s always a part of everything we do. When you like the people you’re filming with, you respect them. You want them to be happy with the product at the end of the day. You don’t want them to turn around and feel like you’ve done them a disservice by telling their story in a certain way.
It is a line that you dance. Sometimes, there are things that we’ll take out that might be really entertaining or really interesting, but we feel doesn’t necessarily represent the person in the best way or in the best light. Hopefully, we’ve managed to tell everyone’s stories in a way that people are happy with. I mean, the participants themselves are really happy, which is great. They’re the most important critics.
How do you cast the show?
I’ve got a really great team of producers—a very small team. We do all the casting ourselves as a producing team, which really helps because there’s continuity. Often the same person they first spoke to is the person who’s then with them. That consistency—keeping a really small team—I think is really helpful.
Making the very first Australian series, casting at first was hard. Convincing people that this was going to be a respectful series and that we had the best intentions was difficult originally. Once people saw the show and then once we came to America, people really knew what it was and straight away were just so happy to help. Honestly, the [autistic] community has been amazing in terms of helping us spread the word. The amount of people who write in [to be on the show] is enormous, which is both encouraging for us that people trust us and think that being a part of this series is a positive thing. But also it’s a real shame because it means there are so many people out there who are really wanting to find love who we can’t help.
But the series is inspiring group and dating events. It’s inspired lots of different places and organizations to create their own spaces to try and foster a bit more socializing in terms of the dating world.
I love how Love on the Spectrum captures the family dynamics of the cast. What was it like working with the families?
Every family is different and every family dynamic is different. We have some amazing families that we follow when the cast live with their families. We also have castmembers who don’t live with their families and whose friends are their support networks. The cast who do live at home with their families, we’ve been lucky enough to tell the stories of some families who are just so spot on when it comes to how they support their child.
Lise [Menard Smith], for example, Connor [Tomlinson’s] mom. I’m really impressed with the way she talks to Connor. There was a scene in season three with a discussion about tipping and whether tipping $5 was appropriate or not. Lise—seeing that Connor just basically didn’t understand something and his frustration was building—was really great at explaining to him about how society expects things to work, but also in a way that he can process and understand. She’s amazing. His family’s great. They support him in a way that’s not just supportive, but also is helping him to get to a point where he can “fly the nest,” as he says. A fledgling ready to fly the nest.
And I love James’s family. They’re just so great, and they’re so funny together. The three of them are just like a comedy trio, and it’s brilliant. I love their dynamic and the fact that it’s not coddling. It’s not feeling sad. It’s just living their daily lives and going about it in the way that they best can, as well as maintaining a lightheartedness about things.
There are a lot of times when the dates don’t work out. We saw James strike out at a speed-dating event this season. Can you talk to me a little bit about how the dates are organized?
First I’ll talk about James going speed-dating, because some people have said online, “What are the producers doing sending James to a neurotypical speed-dating event?” Firstly, that’s an ableist comment. James goes to speed-dating events all the time, and he goes to mainstream speed-dating events. That’s what he does. So it was important for us to tell that story because it’s a big part of his search for love, right? That’s the truth of his story.
In terms of the matches that we find for people, we talk to the people themselves. With each individual we’re telling their story. We’re not telling a generic autism story. We’re telling James’s story, we’re telling Pari’s story, we’re telling Madison’s story. We work with them and what they think—what kind of person they think would be a good match, what kind of person might be on a similar wavelength to them. Sometimes that’s someone who’s neurotypical. Sometimes that’s someone who’s autistic. Sometimes it’s somebody with Down syndrome. It’s about working with them in terms of what is best for them.
Having said that, we are the matchmakers, which, I guess, is a unique thing. We wouldn’t have been able to make the show without being matchmakers because we’re following so many people who haven’t dated much. It’s a non-scientific art. And we’re not mismatching people. We’re not trying to create conflict or drama. Don’t ask me how so many matches happened this season. It’s unbelievable.
Which couples are still going strong?
Madison and Tyler are going strong. Pari and Tina are going strong. Connor and Georgie are going strong. James and Shelley are going strong. Abbey and David, obviously, are still going super strong. It’s kind of amazing to see when matches do work and do go right. Madison’s life has changed now.
Speaking of Madison, her first date on the show didn’t go as planned. Her date, Brandon Lemieux, was overstimulated by the restaurant and they had to move outside. Can you talk about how you handled that situation?
Obviously, we had spoken to him beforehand. We’d spoken to him and his mom many times—talked to them about being part of the series, talked about what kind of date would be okay. We checked: would he be okay going on a date in a restaurant if it was fairly quiet? “Yeah, absolutely.” We had a whole half of that massive restaurant that was pretty much empty for us. There just happened to be some screaming children on the other end. We didn’t know that he was going to be as sensitive as he was. At the time, I was feeling bad for him, and we were trying to work out what we could do to make his experience less stressful. And eventually we did. Luckily, he was happy to step away and find a different spot.
We thought about that scene for a while, and we spoke to [Brandon and his mother] about it, too. We thought it was really important to include because people talk a lot about sensitivities or anxiety, but it’s rare that you see it and you can actually feel it as an audience member. When you watch that scene, for people who haven’t experienced something like that, I think you get it a lot more than if someone says, “Oh, I don’t like it when I hear a baby crying.” It felt important for us to keep that in and not to try and remove it because it felt hard on him.
After that date, he was so proud of himself for putting himself out there and doing that. He was really happy. His mom was super happy with him. It was all a positive thing for them, despite the fact that at the time he was struggling. But that’s his daily life. He struggles with that on a daily basis whenever he goes out. Hopefully some places will start to understand a bit more about sounds and noises, because for people who are sensitive to noise, it can be rough.
Autism has been in the news a lot these days because of RFK Jr. and the discourse that he’s prompted. What are your thoughts on the current discourse having spent so much time with the autistic community?
It’s an incredibly diverse population and you can’t make assumptions about somebody because they have a diagnosis of autism. There’s plenty of people on the spectrum who want to find love and do find love. And I’ve seen a hell of a lot of that myself. And I think James and Dani and [Love on the Spectrum autism specialist] Jennifer Cook have all been speaking up about some of those comments. I think that’s great because James and Dani and Jennifer, they can speak about it much more personally and eloquently than I can. It’s great that people are reading and listening to them.
What does the future of Love on the Spectrum look like?
Hopefully, there’s another season. There’s no official green light at this point, but we believe there’s plenty of stories to still be told. We’d love to keep making more of the series and working with these awesome people who are just a pleasure to film with really.
We’re just crossing our fingers for the first US Love on the Spectrum wedding. Who knows when that’ll happen or who it’ll be, but it’s bound to happen one day, right?
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