If your partner says “not tonight,” it might not be about mood or desire—or even about you at all. According to a new survey of 2,000 women, the biggest dealbreaker in the bedroom isn’t emotional disconnect or attraction issues. It’s hairy legs.
Yep. One in three women admits to dodging sex simply because they haven’t shaved. And it doesn’t stop there—51 percent skip intimacy if they haven’t showered, 48 percent if they haven’t brushed their teeth, and 26 percent if their armpits aren’t smooth. It turns out that when women don’t feel physically “prepared,” they’re significantly less likely to want to get naked.
The research, commissioned by Philips Lumea, highlights how much grooming rituals shape female sexual confidence. A staggering 90 percent of women said being well-groomed boosts their self-esteem in bed. Over half said it helps them feel better about their bodies, while 38 percent reported feeling more relaxed when they’re “ready.” For 40 percent, it’s about showing self-care and respect—for themselves and their partners.
“Small steps in self-care can have a big impact for women on body confidence and intimacy,” a Philips Lumea spokesperson said. “Although the other person might not be bothered and intimacy rituals vary from person to person, making sure you’re feeling and looking your best during the most intimate of times can be a big deal.”
Why Women Are Saying ‘Not Tonight’
That “big deal” can require time—women spend an average of 17 minutes getting groomed before sex. Typical rituals include shaving the bikini line, picking out the right underwear, and spritzing on perfume. Eighty-five percent said they feel more like themselves after grooming, which shows just how tied self-perception is to sexual readiness.
But there’s a flip side. For 35 percent of women, the pressure to be perfectly groomed actually becomes a mood killer. And interestingly, 32 percent said they wouldn’t care if their partner hadn’t done any grooming at all.
“We appreciate that the whole process can take quite some time and can therefore be a turn off when wanting to get intimate with someone between the sheets,” the Philips Lumea spokesperson added. “It’s all about prioritizing what you personally feel needs to be done to feel your best.”
So the next time someone says they’re not in the mood, it’s not that she doesn’t want you—it might be razor stubble, a missed shower, or just the exhausting mental load of getting “ready.”
Which, frankly, has nothing to do with you.
The post The Real Reason Women Say ‘Not Tonight’ appeared first on VICE.
