Federal workers are whining about the “DOGE 15” — the added weight they’ve packed on since being dragged back to the office and worrying about their own productivity and looming layoffs.
Being back in person like the rest of the American workforce has meant kissing the gym goodbye, and leisurely walks at lunch have also gone out the window, the taxpayer-funded snowflakes complain.
“Ugh with RTO I don’t have time to walk at lunch, and my gym time in the mornings are almost nonexistent,” one Department of the Interior worker griped on Reddit.
“My walk to my car is my only exercise I can muster,” lamented another bureaucrat who works for the IRS.
“Same, I’m now up at 530 am to make it in by 730 — not home until after 5. No mental energy to make it to the gym now,” agreed a disgruntled FEMA employee.
Since Elon Musk was tapped by President Trump to head the newly minted Department of Government Efficiency, federal employees have been ordered back to their desks after enjoying an extended stretch of remote work since March 2020.
They’ve also been ordered to prove their productivity by listing five things they do every week – or get fired.
Since January, Musk’s chainsaw has slashed away at federal jobs — with close to 300,000 workers laid off or accepting buyouts.
With less excercise, less time to cook healthy meals, and added stress, many fed employees are binge-eating and drinking, they said.
“I had beer and chocolate for dinner after work on Friday,” one fed confessed.
“Dry January ended at 12:01 pm on January 20th,” said another, referring to Trump’s return to the White House.
“Trying to batch cook for the whole week is hard, I’d forgotten,” groaned one worker on Reddit. “It’s just a lot of mental work to figure out when I just want to recover from the week of crazy.”
A Department of Health and Human Services worker moaned, “The two hours I spend commuting every day means I come home exhausted and have no time to grocery shop. My cooking has suffered. I can’t get to my favorite fitness class anymore.
Co-workers aren’t helping either.
“Someone on my team brings donuts, brownies, cookies, etc., literally every single day now,” wrote a Public Health employee who complained about gaining weight.
“My office has been regularly bringing in ‘morale’ food. And yes, I’m definitely chunkier than I was three months ago,” a USDA worker chimed in.
“Feels like the DOGE 20 at the moment,” another lamented.
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