Making a comedy-music album based on secrets shared by internet strangers might not seem like an obvious step for Jordan Firstman, who stars in FX’s “English Teacher” and Rachel Sennott’s new HBO show that’s being called the “It” pilot of the season.
But there is nothing about Firstman’s career that feels textbook Hollywood — and that’s what makes him such a compelling figure. That, and all the jokes.
The actor-writer-director became “internet famous” (his words) during the COVID-19 pandemic when he started doing impressions on social media of unsuspecting subjects such as an iPhone charger not made by Apple, a man who is 5’11” and banana bread’s publicist (“They’re trying to get me to represent pumpkin pie right now. I’m like, b—, come back to me in four months”). Since then, he’s taken on projects that feel varied and fresh, including playing the lead role in the dark comedy “Rotting in the Sun,” which premiered at Sundance in 2023.
Firstman’s debut album, “Secrets,” released this month, was born out of the pandemic moments when he’d ask his followers to submit their secrets to him via Instagram Stories, and he’d share them anonymously. He eventually turned several of the confessions into hilarious and highly impressive songs (many of which have salacious titles that cannot be published here). “The coolest thing is making art out of life,” says Firstman of the genre-defying album. “This feels like the most direct way I can do that.”
Always gravitating toward good vibes and more jokes, Firstman packs his Sundays with things that bring him delight. His agenda for a perfect day in L.A. includes a boat party, an ice bath and the most glorious spicy shrimp in town.
This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.
Midnight: Sunday officially begins
Are we considering midnight the start of the day? If it’s midnight, we still have a couple hours starting the day, so we’re either at a house party or maybe Chateau [Marmont] till around 2 or 3. I think 3 is the perfect time to go home because it doesn’t feel like you’re lame and going home at 2 just because you’re in L.A. and everyone goes home at 2 in L.A. But you can still sleep till like 10 and have a good night. A lot of my friends push it a little too hard and go till 5 or 6. Not for me. I’m too old for that.
10:30 a.m.: Morning bagels
We’re immediately going to Courage Bagels. My biggest flex in L.A. is that I get to cut the line at Courage Bagels because they like me. I try to use it no more than twice a year because I don’t want to lose the privilege. I’m almost even hesitant saying it because I don’t want them to take it away from me. But I do think we have a good DM rapport. If I had my dream, someone would go pick up the bagels for me and bring them to my bed. But I don’t have a loved one like that right now. So we’ll go to Courage, cut the line, get a Burnt Everything with the salted butter.
Then I’ll pop over to Sqirl just for drinks. They have a good mocha there, and the lavender lemonade is really good.
11 a.m.: A strategic workout
I’ll go to Rodeo [Athletic Club], my gym in Silver Lake. Apparently, the secret formula to losing fat is — wait, hold on [pulls out his phone] — the 12-3-30 method. It’s 12% incline and 3% speed for 30 minutes on the treadmill. And I watch one episode of either “Sex and the City,” “Girls” or “Entourage,” and that’s 30 minutes. The time goes by because you’re not running. I hate running. So you’re walking, but you still get sweaty and you feel like you’re working out. And apparently it’s better than running. Like, that’s what TikTok tells me, and I believe everything TikTok tells me.
Then I’ll do a couple of minutes in the ice bath. In the past six months, I’ve gotten really into it. I did eight minutes one time. It makes you feel so much better emotionally. It’s really hard to be in a bad mood after you do it.
12:30 p.m.: Party on a boat
My friend John Sharp has a boat parked in Marina del Rey. I’d spend the day there with a bunch of these gay Venice boys. It’s a good, wholesome vibe. And, you know, we’ll do some mushrooms, drink some natural wine. Usually someone will bring some bread and cheese from Gjelina. Then some friends will have people over to their house after, and they’ll order some food. And they’ll make everyone Venmo before the food even comes. And sometimes I’m doing the math and I’m like, wait, I don’t think you guys are even paying [laughs]. That’s the vibe, but we love them for it. And they’re opening their house to us, so we can pay for their delivery. It’s fine. But that’s usually what ends up happening.
3:30 p.m.: Get scrubbed
On my way home, I would stop at Century Day & Night Spa. If this is the best day ever, I would do a body scrub. Because sometimes when you’re at the gym, you forget to shower. There’s some “bacne” happening, so you really gotta scrub it out. And so we’ll have one of those old, nice Korean men scrub it out.
6 p.m.: Assemble the ideal bite of Sichuan food
So we’re going all the way to San Gabriel Valley now. My favorite Sunday restaurant is Chengdu Taste, and I’m ordering a lot. Hopefully I can get some friends to come. All of my friends are, like, anorexic basically, or have some form of eating disorder, so it’s hard to get people to eat fattening food with me.
I’m getting the flavored shrimp, the crispy chicken with the chile peppers, the eggplant, the tomato and egg soup, the Chengdu fried rice and the green beans. The perfect bite is the Chengdu fried rice — it is so f— good and the best fried rice I’ve ever had in my life. That with a bite of the eggplant, which is really soft and almost souplike, and then with one of the shrimps. Oh, my gosh, I’m getting so excited. It’s like the most insane bite ever, and you’re sweating and it’s beautiful.
8 p.m.: Some quick fun
If this is my ideal Sunday, a f— buddy or a casual dalliance would come over, and we would have sex. That would be 8 to 8:40. OK, at most, really, 8 to 8:25. Let’s be real. And then he would leave, and then I would watch “The White Lotus.”
10 p.m.: Wind down with a skincare routine
I would do skincare after that. Get all my new peptides that I’m taking filled up. Get those syringes filled. A good mask would be nice, just to look fresh for the next day. In bed by 11.
The post How to have the best Sunday in L.A., according to Jordan Firstman appeared first on Los Angeles Times.
