At two-years-old, my daughter, Nova, had her first seizure. It was a fever seizure, which we hoped she would grow out of. But at the age of five, she experienced her first seizure without a fever. And as a result, we discovered she had epilepsy. Aside from the scariness involved with that, we didn’t realize the ‘otherness’ that would make people really scared to interact with someone who has this condition.
Ironically, that idea of ‘otherness’ is something I’ve dealt with since I was young as well. I’m dyslexic and was put in the slow-learning class because I was a slow-learner. My mom is an incredibly fast reader and I always felt self-conscious about it. I felt like I was dumb, less than. I didn’t get great grades. But the bottom line was, I learned differently. At that time, though, we didn’t have the infrastructure to truly help, so I, too, felt less than. And as a result, I suffered from a lot of anxiety that manifested in my body.
Growing up, there was very little in the way of books or resources. There was more heady, academic-type language around dyslexia. There was also just this stigma of, you’re not as smart. You’re just not. But the truth is, neurological differences really are a superpower. Call me optimistic, but I believe it. Yes, it’s difficult sometimes. But a lot of creative people have these differences. And thank God, because otherwise, the world would be boring if we all had the same brain that functioned the same way. Thinking differently is our greatest asset.
Now, having two children who are navigating these differences has allowed me to show them, “Hey, I’m a successful person you can look up to who has it, too.” You can be a writer even though you have dyslexia. You can be an actor who has to memorize words all the time and have dyslexia. You can do lots of things, and that makes me proud, especially with my daughter, Nova, who has more sparkly differences than I do. When she heard that epilepsy was basically like electrical ‘issues’ with her brain, we called them ‘sparkles,’ which is a lot less scary. Nova’s name is also very celestial and planetary. Plus, she’s a sparkler.
My son, Ozzi, has a few learning differences as well. It just further supports this thesis that we just have a wealth of differences in the way that we consume information, and the way we learn and communicate.
There are some books about this, but the books that I kept finding for their age range were a little bit like, This bunny’s different from the other bunnies, versus using the big fancy words of epilepsy and seizures that are part of the human condition. And that’s why I wanted to write All About Brains. It boiled down to this idea of certain conditions not being spoken about or normalized and accessible in the same way that we talk about how our hair is different, our skin types are different, our body types are different, and on and on. And guess what? Our brain types are different!. And if we can start teaching that early on, then perhaps we can set the groundwork for kids as they grow up.
My daughter speaks about her epilepsy in a way that is so accessible and relatable to her peers. When kids ask questions about it, she has answers. That was really what inspired me to write the book. And yeah, there’s some fart jokes in there too, so kids can feel like they’re not reading something not meant for them. Otherwise it can feel very isolating for all parents and children and grownups. It’s part of what I want to try to build acceptance in all neurodiverse brains in a neurotypical world. And make sure that talking about neurodiversity is something that is included in our education systems.
It can be difficult when you’re navigating issues like learning differences or autism or ADHD or epilepsy. Also, you don’t have to be diagnosed to relate to it. It’s just very meaningful when people who aren’t familiar with something take time to learn about what it’s like to have one of these conditions.
Being a single mom, there’s definitely moments where you’re just like, “I’m exhausted, I’m frustrated, I’m all of these things.” But this makes it worth it. What a privilege to be able to express ourselves and be able to be heard and to be received. And really, for parents to have a bit of a roadmap and some language to talk about things that they wouldn’t normally talk about.
You can order Lake Bell’s new book, All About Brains, here.
The post For Lake Bell, Managing Seizures, Epilepsy, and Learning Differences is Part of the Job appeared first on Glamour.
