Recently, I wrote an article sharing the best, most entertaining ‘fucked around and found out’ stories I found online. You guys seemed to like that one, so much so that a lot of people even wrote in their own stories! They made me laugh and cringe so hard that naturally, I had to share. So, here are some of the best:
1.“One day I was at the library looking at books in an isolated aisle. The library is known to be a very quiet place. Suddenly, a man entered my aisle and startled me causing me to emit a loud fart. Especially loud due to the extreme quiet. I blushed and rushed out as quickly as possible.”
NBC / Via giphy.com
—Anonymous
2.“As a hairdresser, one of the first things you learn when handling shears is to not cut past your second knuckles. You can end up cutting into the webbing between your fingers, among other cuts and injuries. Well, me being a rule breaker with short fingers, I decided that that rule was useless and would mean haircuts took me twice as long.”
“One day, while I was practicing (on a mannequin, thank God), I cut past my second knuckle like always. Except this time, the shears caught my knuckle. Because of the placement of the cut, every time I bent my finger, it would bleed. I had to go to urgent care and get what was essentially a skin-grade superglue put in the wound to seal it while it healed.”
3.“I had to be around 4 years old and my mom got me my first Nintendo. I was playing Super Mario. While playing the game I was cleaning my right ear using a Q-tip. So lost in the game, I left the Q-tip in my right ear. As my mom stepped out of the bathroom to go to the kitchen, she saw me and said, ‘Don’t leave that thing in your ear.’ Being a stubborn little kid, I kept playing and totally ignored her.”
“Something bad happened in the game and I slammed the right side of my head into the bed out of frustration, shoving the Q-tip deep in my ear. Chunks of cotton full of blood had to be pulled out of the ear with tweezers.”
—Anonymous
4.“80-hour energy spray. Yes, 80-hour spray… Basically, it’s a concentrated 5-hour energy drink that you are NOT meant to chug in one go. However, my little brother had mixed a bottle into an energy drink and chugged his, so I thought it clearly wouldn’t harm me…”
“However, I hadn’t eaten and had just gotten home from running five miles. The first thing that happened was a full-body niacin flush where you get red and itchy. Then I started feeling sick.
I threw up and threw up until all that was coming up was blood. My heart felt like it was running a marathon and felt like it was going to stop. I went and woke my mom and she took me to the ER.
After an EKG and blood tests, they told me I was fine and would eventually burn off all the energy, and asked if I had done this to hurt myself. I felt embarrassed and stupid, as I was like, 19 or 20 at the time.
That spray was pulled off the shelves around that same time as it had killed others. I still have flashbacks 20 years later and can’t have most energy drinks without suddenly getting extremely tired. I looked up some papers eventually and learned that consistently overdosing on B vitamins can have very negative effects on brain chemistry. So I just avoid most anything that isn’t plain caffeine.”
5.“My daughter, when she was 3, had a runny nose that wouldn’t stop. Her doctor reached into her nose and found a little cloth tag that she had torn off one of her toy dolls. It said: MADE IN JAPAN.”
“This happened in 1965. Her mom said, ‘Well, now we know where you came from!'”
6.“I had been strictly told not to use kitchen tools (knives, graters, peelers, etc.) on my own that very morning. But all the adults were outside, and I wanted an apple without the skin on. I remember thinking I was old enough, despite the earlier warning.”
“Peeled one thumb. No worries, I’m a problem solver, swap peeler to other hand. Peel other thumb.”I spent a week with my thumbs wrapped in chunky gauze and a new appreciation for what animals have to deal with without opposable thumbs. Also, a firm respect for blades of all kinds. (But I still cut myself with a bread knife attempting to cut a pool noodle in half last week at the age of 36.)
7.“Details are better left to the imagination, and it’s all hazy anyway, but any time I’ve been asked what advice I’d give to someone going off to college, I have to say: Don’t cut your toenails when you’re drunk.”
IAN HOOTON/SPL / Getty Images/Science Photo Library RF, Pop TV / CBC Television
8.“My older brother and I were playing with some neighborhood kids in our backyard. Somehow a game of tag had morphed into us just throwing dirt at each other. I turned around with a fresh clump of dirt ready to chuck it at my brother when he started screaming.”
“Turned out someone else grabbed a part of a yellow jacket nest that was just underground, and one ended up stinging him IN THE EAR. The clump I grabbed was just a few inches away from the nest. We all ran inside out of fear and never threw dirt again. I still get a little nervous when I’m gardening.”
—Anonymous
9.“I grew up on a farm and we had our own gas pump. One time while gassing up the family car, I decided for some reason to check the radiator fluid.”
“Well, it was very hot and boiled over as I removed the lid, covering me with boiling coolant. I got second-degree burns on my forehead mostly. My mom put me in a cold bath but didn’t take me to the hospital (I was 12, and was wearing glasses, thank god). The skin on my forehead died and it looked funny for a couple months.”
10.“We had metal oil cans from servicing tractors, etc. I put some gas in one and held a lighter by the opening. The gasoline vapor burned quickly, making a blow torch aimed directly at my thumb. Ouch.”
11.“I was about 13 and wanted to try to ‘Nair’ my legs. I thought keeping it on longer would work better. No, it’ll burn your skin off.”
12.“When I was about 12 we had a decent ice storm. I lived in Texas and did not have a ton of experience with snow or ice. I saw some broken-down cardboard from my dad’s work and our empty ice sheet of a sloped driveway and decided I was going to ‘surf’ down it.”
“I found a large flat piece of cardboard and proceeded to jump into the middle of it with my arms out for balance. The cardboard and my feet started to slide down the driveway, but the rest of me did not.
I landed on my back with the wind knocked out of me, questioning all my young life choices. Thankfully I had no lasting injuries and no neighbors saw.”
—Anonymous
13.“Have you ever been so mad you want to hit someone? Or kick something? Don’t do it. I kicked a wall once, spraining both my foot and ankle. I ended up on crutches for several weeks.”
“Then, when I was just about healed up, I decided to leave my crutches at home, while I went to dinner and a school dance with my friends. I wore heels, and (unbeknownst to me) dinner was in an area with cobblestone streets!
I re-sprained everything, and spent the evening barefoot, sitting on the floor talking to my friend’s date all night, while I iced it. And, yeah, I went through several more weeks of crutches.
So no kicking walls, no wearing heels down cobblestone roads. You’re welcome.”
14.“When I was 5 my parents told me not to go into the old milk barn, so of course I wanted to go into the old milk barn. I walked up to it, reached up to the door handle, and got a sliver that ran up the entire side of my hand. I went to my parents to get it out. They asked me why I was at the old milk barn. I told them I had an itch on my hand and I wanted to scratch it on the old milk barn.”
TBS
—Anonymous
15.“When I was 8 my family went on a camping trip to Oregon and stayed in a beautiful campground. I was exploring every corner I could find and ended up playing with stinging nettle. Of course, I ended up with huge areas of rash and blisters. My dad took me into the trailer to try to cool down the sting.”
16.“I have kind of a thing for knives and have several everyday-carry pocket knives for various things. My mom was scolding me about how dangerous it is, and I very confidently whipped my knife out and said, ‘No Mom, I carry a knife for SAFETY.’ Then I dropped the knife, tried to catch it mid-air, and sliced through my palm to the bone. Oops.”
Pop TV / CBC Television
17.“I was about 4, and my mom had one of those light-up vanity mirrors that folded out and had an electrical outlet on the front. Little me saw Mommy’s metal tweezers and thought ‘Hey, these two ends are about the size and spacing to fit in those two slots on the front!'”
Warner Bros. Pictures
“Next thing I know, I’m on the floor with little carbon marks on my chubby fingers. Now I’m terrified of electrical things like jumper cables. Never again.”
18.“When i was 11, I was riding my bike and wondering what would happen when I put my foot on the wheel. At first, it made a nice sound. THEN MY FOOT SLIPPED INTO THE SPOKES, shooting me forward over my handlebars and landing me flat on my face on the pavement.”
“Luckily, my braces saved my front teeth, but one of them died, and I eventually needed a root canal. To this day, I can’t bite into ice cream.”
19.“When I was about five or six, my mom was braiding my hair for church the next day and was adding some hair beads at the bottom. Being a stupid little kid, I tried to sniff them, taste them, etc. despite my mother’s warnings not to do stupid crap with them as she was braiding.”
“Well, I ended up with two beads stuck in my left nostril, but I was too afraid to tell her anything cause I knew I would get whooped bad if I did.
Fast forward to the next morning, the beads were higher up my nostril and I guess my mother noticed how heavily I was breathing and how often I was rubbing at my nose trying to get them out on my own.
She took me to the bathroom in church, saw the beads up my nose, and frantically called 911. They managed to get the beads out, but I vividly remember one of the nurses telling my mom that if I had left them in for an hour longer, they would have had to perform surgery to remove them—thus began my intense fear of surgery and my avoidance of hair beads.”
—Anonymous
20.“When I was 5 years old I saw my mom shaving her legs, and thought I would give it a try myself, despite not having any leg hair. I took the dry razor blade, pressed it down hard against my dry leg, and shaved a good ribbon of skin off.”
21.“I went to go snitch on my cousin for breaking a rule my dad had placed. slipped, and busted my head open. Snitches get stitches, lol.”
Paramount
22.“I had finished working the brunch shift as a manager of a restaurant and decided to day drink around our downtown area with my boyfriend. A few hours later we were walking down the street and there was a horse and buggy stopped on the side of the street advertising tours around the city.”
“I asked the man if I could pet his horse and he said, ‘Yes, but he’s going to bite you.’ I got bit. Bit so hard I couldn’t free my hand. When I finally got loose and looked at my boyfriend, all he said was, ‘He told you he bites.'”
23.“I was at a bonfire party in the 80s, and there was a Kiss video out where the lead singer had blue flames coming off of his fingers. I poured some gas onto my hands and held it over the flames, the gas burned away and there were flames. Everyone thought it was awesome!”
“…Then the flames started burning my hands, and I panicked and tipped the gas can over. I went up like a match head! I ran and jumped into a nearby river… which was only three inches deep. I got rocks in my knees. Eyebrows take six weeks to grow back.”
—Anonymous
I want to know all your thoughts down below! If you have your own FAFO stories, even better — feel free to share!
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