Recently, Reddit user Only_Injury8944 shared that she’s divorcing her husband after he asked for a paternity test on their son — but wondered if she was in the wrong for “letting” him do the test.
She wrote, “My husband recently asked me for a paternity test. Why? Because our son looks nothing like him. I never cheated on him. I would never. He knows he was my first and only partner. I told him he can have the test. Who am I to stop him from it? He took the test and found out our son is actually his and he seemed very happy.”
“I told him congrats. Now, you are sure it’s your own son you are paying child support for. He asked, ‘What does that mean,’ and I told him if he thought I cheated on him, then we truly shouldn’t be married. I took my son and left, and we are currently staying in a hotel and I’m going to get divorced.”
“He keeps calling and texting and begging me to come back but I don’t want to. He said if I had such a problem with the test then I should have stopped him instead of allowing it and then ‘acting like a bratty child and ruining our lives.’ I’m not sure how I’m the one ruining our lives. He is the one who thinks I’m a cheater; he should be happy he doesn’t have to live with a cheater anymore.”
A lot of comments supported the OP’s decision and declared her Not The Asshole (NTA).
“He would have treated that child like the product of this imaginary affair. Stopping him would just give him license to punish the child. NTA, your husband is the brat, and now he gets to sleep in the bed he made.”
“Definitely a lose-lose. He already assumed she was cheating and didn’t trust her; he’s talking out of hindsight. If she told him to kick rocks with the paternity test, he would affirm in his mind she cheated.”
“Going through with it only helped her anyway; why be with someone who can’t trust you to be faithful? At least now she can prove it’s his kid. Sucks for him but maybe you should trust the person you marry and have a kid with.”
“100% NTA. He accused you of cheating without real evidence, and that kind of distrust can destroy a relationship. A paternity test isn’t just a small request, it’s a serious accusation. You didn’t ‘ruin your lives,’ he did by doubting you. If he didn’t trust you then, why should you trust him now?”
“Welp. He let that red pill, incel bullshit get to him and she’s leaving. How despicable and entitled of him. I would do the exact same thing and hope other women in OP’s position do the same.”
“There is something inherently wrong with people who have this weird belief that all babies should be DNA tested as if it’s a common occurrence for women to cheat and ‘trap’ their husbands with kids who aren’t theirs. Also love how everyone becomes a genealogist when a baby is born. Two people and generations of faces come together to make a baby; my kid looks like my mom/uncles and nothing like me and their father, lol. It happens.”
“You did the right thing. Babies look…weird. Almost all the time, when they first ‘come out,’ they barely look like a human, let alone their parents, and they change SO much so quickly.”
“You are absolutely right that you should not marry someone you don’t trust, and if his first instinct in seeing his child is to get a paternity test, he obviously does not trust you at all. You were also in the right for not stopping him from getting that test because how could you? He has every right to get the test if he wants to. And you trying to get him not to take a test would only make you look more guilty in his eyes anyway.”
“NTA. Any man who asks for a paternity test from his wife should expect that the test result will come with divorce papers stapled to it.”
“I hope your kid is alright. My dad had a paternity test done on me when I was about 10. Just me, too, eldest of the bunch. Pretty sure that’s a major part of why I’m just developing self-esteem in my 30s. Nothing says ‘I don’t want you’ in quite the same way.”
“My oldest daughter is a carbon copy of my ex-husband. However his family had drilled it so hard into his head that she wasn’t his, that when we divorced, he got a paternity test AND paid extra for a rush. I laughed at the $650 he literally pissed away. I never cheated. But he accused me a lot. Makes me wonder! And you’re DEF NTA!”
“He cheated is my theory. Classic projection.”
But not every commenter agreed with OP. There were plenty that were sticking up for her husband.
“YTA. Sometimes people have dumb thoughts. Sometimes those thoughts nag and you end up ruminating over them. It doesn’t matter how illogical they are, they can eat at you. If there’s a test you can do that would lay them to rest, then you should do it.”
“The fact that you immediately and without warning left speaks to your willingness to break up your family instead of work on issues more than that he suspected you cheated. Imagine if you thought he’d cheated, so you asked to see his phone. Would you expect to immediately have your child taken away from you and served divorce papers? I don’t know how you don’t see that it’s you ruining everyone’s lives. Your ego is out of control if you think that it’s justified to make your son grow up in a split family because your husband wanted a DNA test, and you’re totally unwilling to even consider working on why that might be.”
“I may be in the minority here but I do think YTA in this situation. You told him to get the test and then flipped out when he did. If you were going to hold it against him, then don’t tell him to take the test.”
“If that is the only reason you are getting a divorce, then yes, YTA. There has to be more to it than that.”
“Holy shit, blowing up your family over this? Go to couple’s therapy. Or communicate better. Imagine explaining to your kid he has to split time with his parents because his dad was insecure. I know I’ll get downvoted to hell for this, but YTA. Your kid deserves better.”
So what do you think — did OP do the right thing? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
The post This Woman Is Divorcing Her Husband After He Asked For A Paternity Test, And I’m Genuinely Curious Who You Think Is Wrong Here appeared first on BuzzFeed.
