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Stuck at home in 2020, my partner and I talked about moving abroad.
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He started looking for a job in Berlin, and within three weeks, he had a job offer.
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We’ve been in Germany for years and, at first, we experienced culture shock.
It took me 15 years and one month to move abroad. For the longest time, I had wanted to learn more about life around the world, yet I was overwhelmed by the idea of immigrating. There was so much to consider — 193 countries to choose from, languages to learn, and logistics to manage.
I spent my 20s pining for a European lifestyle, even promising my cat that he would someday be a Parisian swinging his paw over some balcony ledge above the cobblestone alley. I learned Spanish, then French, and then I backpacked Europe for three weeks on a budget to visit the major cities I thought I might prefer. I labored over possibilities and preparations while taking absolutely no action.
Fast-forward to 2020, when the pandemic hit. My partner of two years and I had no choice but to sit inside and talk about the future.
The “what ifs” poured out. What if we moved abroad in the next year? What if we tried Germany since they issue 72% of the EU’s Blue Cards (equivalent to US Green Cards)? What if my partner, who was an office worker while I was a startup founder, changed his LinkedIn profile to “searching for a job in Berlin“?
And that’s how it all happened.
He had a job offer within 3 weeks
Within a week, my partner was invited to an interview. The next week, he had a second interview. The week after that, he received the job offer. Suddenly we were in Chicago applying for visas to let us move abroad while all international borders were closed. Then we were packing up the apartment we had moved into only a month before and saying goodbye to our friends and family over Zoom.
On Inauguration Day 2021, we got on a plane headed toward Berlin. We haven’t looked back.
We landed in a temporary furnished apartment, where we spent our first three months getting oriented and organized. That provided a place to feel safe while we began rebuilding our lives and belongings.
My partner began his job, I shifted my consulting calendar to Central European Time, and we began apartment hunting. Looking back, we struck gold with our apartment: We were first in line at a newly completed building and got our pick of apartments. We later moved to an even better apartment in the same building while simultaneously lowering our cost of living because of rent control laws. That compared with today’s six-month average hunt and the cost of new rental contracts having doubled.
This month, four years into our adventure, we adopted a cat. Welcoming him underscored that this new city is now truly home.
We experienced culture shock at first
The culture shock of moving from Detroit to Berlin has been, at times, hysterical. We had to get used to nudity fast — the world-renowned spas don’t allow clothing inside the saunas. In summer one may happen upon a nude sunbather in the park. When I went for my first OB-GYN appointment, I was not offered a smock.
We were also met with the incredible friction of German techno-bureaucracy. I was completely unprepared for the urgent need to have access to a fax machine in the 2020s. Paper is still king, including in money, and my partner (to whom I am married) is unable to pick up my packages from the drop-off center without a power of attorney signed by me.
I counted my lucky stars that we were from a state that has driving reciprocity with Germany. Unlike in the US, one must also carry a separate ID card — a driver’s license is only a driver’s license. It must stay in its lane.
Techno can be heard everywhere at all hours of the day. Locals love that I am originally from Detroit, the sister techno-city to Berlin. I internally cheered for the stout man dancing on a moving e-scooter down the main road with a Bluetooth speaker strapped to his belt.
This city has also wrapped us in welcome. The universal healthcare system has relieved me of what used to be unknown ailments. I’m considering getting my doctorate just because it’s free (aside from the 200-euro admin fee).
It’s been such a relief to no longer own a car — when I need one, I find one to rent on an app, usually parked right on my street. Berlin is well-known for its expansive green spaces. It’s been a pleasure to find that they’re the primary gathering places in the city. Even in winter, one can find barbecues and birthday parties congregating in the parks.
All the work I did to prepare was unnecessary. I didn’t speak a lick of German before we moved. I didn’t go after a student visa. Packing to move abroad felt like moving apartments — keep some, give some, store some. Getting on the plane to move abroad could have easily just been for a vacation. Those parts felt simple. The 15-year anticipation was what was hard.
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