Donald Trump declared his tariff war mostly paused Tuesday—then headed for the White House lawn to compare the global markets to out-of-form golfers.
He took a victory lap for the biggest one-day stock market jump on record, ignoring that he had caused the crash which preceeded it.
Then he denied that he had caved to pressure—but explained that Wall Street, the world’s leaders, his big money donors, and even some of his most trusted advisors got jittery over his tariff plan, saying they must got “a little bit yippy.”
As an extra dimension of weird, he was speaking in front of champion NASCAR racers and their cars.
He started the bizarre press conference outside the West Wing asking how fast the Penske car would go. There were no takers when he asked the media if they had any questions for the NASCAR drivers. It had, after all, been something of a momentous day, even for this administration.
But if the racers could be champions, Trump was determined to take the checkered flag, too. “Speed and endurance,” he said of the red and yellow car.
“Endurance is a big factor in life and success,” he added, seemingly unaware of the irony in the speed with which his tariff plan was shelved.
“I thought people were jumping a little bit out of line. They were getting a little bit yippy,” he said. “They were getting a little bit yippy, a little afraid.
“No other president would have done what I did,” he added. “I know the presidents; they wouldn’t have done it, and it had to be done.
“Somebody had to do it, they had to stop because it was unsustainable.”
He said last year China made $1 trillion from trade with the U.S.
Now he said he has reversed it, and America was making $2 billion a day, he claimed.
“Nothing’s over yet,” he said, claiming there was “tremendous spirit” from other countries, including China.
China wants to do a deal, he added, “they just don’t know how quite to go about it. They’re proud people.”
“Somebody had to do what we have. I think it’s going to work out amazing.”
There was more talk of COVID, of foreigners pouring into the country from mental institutions and insane asylums, of a sick patient and surgery, and, of course, the failings of Joe Biden.
He talked about a Venezuelan gangster who cut off the fingers of an informant.
“It’s a transition to greatness,” he said, returning to the subject of tariffs.
Asked about the bond market, which had been caught up in the markets panic despite being traditionally regarded as a safe haven in times of economic trouble, he said: “I was watching the bond market. It was very tricky, but right now it’s beautiful.
“I saw last night people were getting rather queasy. The big move wasn’t what I did today but what I did on Liberation Day last week.
“I was willing to pull the trigger,” he said.
When asked why he decided on the 90-day freeze, he danced around the answer but said: You have to have flexibility.
You have to go around walls or over them. Or under. You can’t just be a wall.
The result, he claimed, was “the biggest day in financial history.”
Then it was on to the Oval Office to discuss “bringing home the bacon for Israel”, swapping out paper for plastic straws, the price of eggs, and signing an executive order to reverse regulations enforcing low-pressure showers.
“I like to have a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair,” he said. “And I stand in the shower for fifteen minutes to get it wet. It’s just drip, drip, drip.”
Another big win. No more drips. Or yips.
The post Trump Gives Bonkers ‘Victory Speech’ After Tariff Surrender appeared first on The Daily Beast.
