Once you pop, you just can’t stop. That’s right, we’re talking about my favorite food in the world: Nintendo Switch cartridges. If you ever want to consume something ridiculously expensive? Something that tastes truly terrible? Pop a copy of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in your mouth RIGHT NOW. I assure you, it will make the actual BO situation at a Smash competition feel like Febreze.
Nintendo unveiled brand-new information on the Nintendo Switch 2 today. Giving fans a closer look at the platform and why they should upgrade. I’ll save the minor details — like a release window for Silksong, upgrades for various Nintendo Switch titles, some brand-new Donkey Kong 64 spiritual successor, a Bloodborne-like FromSoftware game, all that boring stuff — and cut straight to the real meat. There are new cartridges. They are red. And I want to know if I can stick these in my mouth, unlike those disgusting gray snacks Nintendo put out for the Nintendo Switch.
You will certainly Not Regret Eating ‘Super Smash Bros. Ultimate’
As Nintendo explained during the Switch 2 presentation, the new red game card offers a similar shape but promises “much faster data reading speeds.” The upgrade complements the new Switch’s expanded internal storage capacity, fixing one of the biggest hardware flaws of the original Nintendo (that is, the inevitable need for a microSDXC card).
After today’s Nintendo Direct, I crawled through the Nintendo Switch 2 landing page. Looking through the company’s expanded information on the upcoming console. However, Nintendo has not yet addressed whether the company has changed the taste, flavor, and texture of the new red cards. Therefore, it’s impossible to know whether the Switch 2’s red game cards will be just as awful to eat as the original Switch 1 cartridges. Or, subsequently, whether the Switch 2 will offer a new set of delicious, yummy game cards designed to titillate your taste buds.
All jokes aside, the Nintendo Switch cartridge has an awful taste for a reason. The console’s game cards are incredibly small, like a tiny, thin cracker. Not only are they easy to lose if misplaced or dropped, but they’re also just the right size for consumption. A young child or a pet could stumble across your $70 copy of The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom and, gulp, swallow it whole. Next thing you know, you’ll be playing a brand-new game: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Bankrupting ER Visit.
Luckily, Nintendo gives the Switch cartridges a horrendously awful taste, so your younglings won’t eat them.
Try 30 to 40 Nintendo Switch cartridges. Eat them directly out of your console
Switch game cartridges are coated in denatonium benzoate, according to Nintendo Support. The company describes it as a “bitter-tasting substance” that is “not harmful to your health.” One study notes that denatonium benzoate’s toxicity levels are indeed quite low. And its use can “reduce the ingestion of toxic substances by dogs, cats, other animals, and children.” As a result, denatonium is commonly added to products like detergents and antifreeze.
In other words, it’s likely that Nintendo will once again coat the Nintendo Switch 2 game cards in that awful-tasting substance. So, please don’t stick your copy of Mario Kart World in your mouth. Leave that to the professionals here at Waypoint. It’s what we’re paid to do: Eat video games.
The post Will the Nintendo Switch 2 Cartridges Taste Just as Yummy This Time Around? appeared first on VICE.
