“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” Oh, Nintendo — be still my beating heart! So, something emerged during today’s Nintendo Switch 2 Direct that I don’t want to get swept under the rug. That Mario Party has finally gone full heel, and Nintendo has formally embraced the hate!
The upcoming Nintendo Switch 2 version of the game will be the best Mario Party ever. Well, Jamboree pretty much locked itself into that role by being superb. But the fact that Nintendo added a feature allowing you to see your friends as you screw them over? Perfection. God, I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful blessing.
For those of you who might be new, I grew up not being the luckiest fella. However, even as a child, I was given one solitary gift: being Beelzebub in Mario Party. That’s a half-brag because, yes, your boy is good at the mini-games. But, also, I’m disturbingly lucky in that series. Ask anyone who’s ever picked up the sticks against me — I’m just that guy. It’s to the point where I’ve accrued enough bad karma in Mario Party that I could lose from now until the end of time and still retire with a positive K/D ratio. So, the Nintendo Switch 2 is speaking the language I need to hear.
if waypoint plays ‘mario party’ on the Nintendo switch 2, it’ll ruin everything
Anthony. Shaun. Matt. Ana. [REDACTED]. I’m not confident about many things because I find people hyping themselves up to be supremely annoying. But, if y’all are feeling froggy, I’ll publicly throw the gauntlet down. Y’all. Me. Super Mario Party Jamboree. The Nintendo Switch 2. Waypoint-Mania. Walk y’all asses down to the yard and get worked. Chance Time won’t stop me. Sandbagging on a 2v2 is fruitless. You can steal whatever you want, you can collude to your heart’s content.
But when that Nintendo Switch 2 drops and I have you in the misery gauntlet? You’ll understand one thing and one thing only. That sometimes, you can swing, and swing, and swing. But, ultimately, as CM Punk once said: “Your arms are too short to box with [Mario Party specifically — this is the only time I’ll ever have this level of confidence] God.“
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