Laughter is one of the best ways to brighten your day, and whether you’re in need of a quick pick-me-up or just want to entertain friends without crossing any lines, clean jokes are the way to go. After all, fun is for everyone, no matter the age, circumstance, or occasion. That’s why we’ve rounded up 100 hilarious, SFW jokes that are perfect for all ages, from one-liners to classic knock-knock jokes.
Whether you’re sharing these with your girlfriends at the bar, cracking up with your coworkers, or trying one out on a first date, these jokes are guaranteed to bring out an eye roll — and, just maybe, a laugh. Sure, they might be cringe, but they’re also simple, sweet, and always in good taste. So if you’re looking to spread joy, break the ice, or simply have a good time, keep scrolling for 100 ideas to get things started.
Dad Jokes
Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
A: They don’t have the guts.
Q: I told my suitcase there would be no vacations this year.
A: Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one!
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work!
Food Jokes
Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: It wasn’t peeling well.
Q: What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
Q: Why did the coffee file a police report?
A: It got mugged!
Animal Jokes
Q: Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
A: Because they’re shellfish.
Q: Why can’t you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A: Frostbite!
Q: Why did the duck get a promotion?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field!
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!
School Jokes
Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: It had too many problems.
Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A: Because her students were so bright!
Q: What’s the king of all school supplies?
A: The ruler.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Q: What’s a computer’s favorite snack?
A: Microchips!
Home & Family Jokes
Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner!
Q: Why did the belt get arrested?
A: It was holding up a pair of pants!
Q: Why did the broom get a promotion?
A: Because it always swept up the competition!
Q: Why don’t secrets last in a kitchen?
A: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
Q: What did one plate say to the other plate?
A: Lunch is on me!
Work Jokes
Q: Why did the employee bring a ladder to work?
A: Because they wanted to reach new heights!
Q: Why did the scarecrow become a motivational speaker?
A: He was outstanding in his field!
Q: Why did the calendar break up with the clock?
A: It needed more space!
Q: Why did the computer catch a cold?
A: It left its Windows open!
Q: Why did the banker switch careers?
A: He lost interest!
Travel Jokes
Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
A: Because it was two-tired!
Q: Why did the car get a ticket?
A: It couldn’t control its speed!
Q: How do you organize a fantastic space party?
A: You planet!
Q: Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
A: He needed space!
Q: What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A: A can’t opener!
Knock-Knock Jokes
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Lettuce.
- Lettuce who?
- Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Cow says.
- Cow says who?
- No, cow says mooo!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Boo.
- Boo who?
- Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Tank.
- Tank who?
- You’re welcome!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Olive.
- Olive who?
- Olive you and I miss you!
Music Jokes
Q: Why did the musician bring a ladder to the concert?
A: To reach the high notes!
Q: Why couldn’t the piano find its keys?
A: Because they were locked up!
Q: What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A: The trom-bone!
Q: Why did the drum go to therapy?
A: It had too many issues to beat!
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor!
Sports Jokes
Q: Why did the football team go to the bank?
A: To get their quarterback!
Q: What’s a baseball player’s favorite type of music?
A: Swing!
Q: Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
A: She always ran away from the ball!
Q: Why do basketball players love donuts?
A: Because they dunk them!
Q: Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks?
A: In case he got a hole in one!
Random Fun Jokes
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta!
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
Q: How does a penguin build its house?
A: Igloos it together!
Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investigator!
Nature Jokes
Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A: A palm tree!
Q: Why don’t trees ever gossip?
A: Because they keep things under wraps!
Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A: A power plant!
Q: What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
A: Live stream!
Q: Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
A: It was feeling green!
Fantasy Jokes
Q: What do you get when you cross a unicorn and a donkey?
A: A honicorn!
Q: Why can’t fairies keep secrets?
A: Because they always let the magic out!
Q: What did the dragon say when he ate the knight?
A: “That was a knight to remember!”
Q: Why did the wizard go to school?
A: To improve his spell-ing!
Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A blood orange!
Fitness Jokes
Q: Why don’t skeletons ever work out?
A: Because they don’t have the muscle!
Q: How do gymnasts keep their muscles in shape?
A: They do a lot of stretching!
Q: Why did the weightlifter break up with the barbell?
A: He just couldn’t handle it anymore.
Q: What’s a runner’s favorite type of music?
A: Anything with good tempo!
Q: What do you call a fitness instructor who loves to read?
A: A book of exercises!
Magic Jokes
Q: Why did the magician start working at the bakery?
A: Because he was great at making dough disappear!
Q: What do you get when you cross a magician and a potato?
A: A spuderman!
Q: Why don’t magicians like to share their secrets?
A: Because it’s all a sleight of hand!
Q: What do you call a wizard who can’t spell?
A: A misspell!
Q: How did the magician lose his job?
A: He was always disappearing at the wrong time!
Art Jokes
Q: Why was the artist afraid he might go to jail?
A: Because he had a brush with the law!
Q: Why did the artist bring a ladder to work?
A: Because they wanted to reach new heights!
Q: What do you call an art thief who was caught?
A: A draw back!
Q: Why did the painter break up with the canvas?
A: He couldn’t get the picture right!
Q: What’s an artist’s favorite type of music?
A: Anything with good composition!
Superhero Jokes
Q: Why don’t superheroes use cell phones?
A: Because they prefer to use their superpowers!
Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
A: “Robin, get in the car!”
Q: Why did the superhero bring a pencil to the fight?
A: To draw his weapon!
Q: Why did Superman break up with Lois Lane?
A: Because he needed someone with more kryptonite in their life!
Q: What do you call a superhero who enjoys a good laugh?
A: Captain Punderful!
Shopping Jokes
Q: Why did the shopper bring a pencil to the store?
A: To draw a bargain!
Q: What do you call someone who loves to shop for shoes?
A: A sole-mate!
Q: Why did the customer buy a pencil at the store?
A: Because it had a good point!
Q: Why do stores hate bad jokes?
A: They always end up being on sale for a limited time.
Q: What do you call a store that sells good ideas?
A: A think tank!
Space Jokes
Q: Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
A: He needed space!
Q: What do you call a cow in space?
An astronaut!
Q: Why can’t astronauts play cards in space?
A: Because there’s no dealing with gravity!
Q: What do you call a space party?
A: A blast!
Q: Why did the Sun go to school?
A: To get a little brighter!
Technology Jokes
Q: Why did the smartphone go to therapy?
A: It couldn’t find its connection!
Q: How does a computer tell you it’s hungry?
A: It says, “Byte me!”
Q: Why was the computer cold?
A: Because it left its Windows open!
Q: What do you call a robot that likes to visit the beach?
A: A surfbot!
Q: Why did the computer break up with the internet?
A: Because it found a better connection!
The post 100 Hilarious Clean Jokes For Funny People Who Don’t Swear appeared first on Bustle.
