Is that a turtle in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
A Pennsylvania man actually responded to that question in the most serious way when he attempted to sneak a turtle in his pants through airport security at Newark Liberty International. Authorities were put onto the man in question when an alarm went off following a body scan as it signaled that something in the groin area was triggering the machine.
A statement from the Transportation Security Administration revealed that a TSA officer performed a pat-down procedure that determined something was concealed down there.
In what I can only assume was an insanely comical moment that’s best imagined with the theme music of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” playing in the background, the man responded to the officer’s question of what was down there by “[reaching] down the front of his pants and pulled out a live turtle that was wrapped in a small blue towel.”
A Man Tried Sneaking a Turtle Hidden in His Pants Through TSA
Apparently, this is the first time that Thomas Carter, the TSA’s Federal Security Director for New Jersey, has ever seen someone trying to smuggle a live animal like this before. According to ABC News, Carter said the turtle was not harmed in the pat-down or the exchange.
“I commend our officer who conducted the pat-down in a very professional manner.” Could you imagine the face on that TSA guard when they saw that all their troubles were because of a turtle being stored between a man’s legs?
For those wondering, the man missed his flight and was escorted out by police. Meanwhile, the turtle was handed off to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service team. There was no information on whether the unnamed person faced any charges.
I’d like to think of this man being put behind bars and when questioned by an inmate about why he’s here, responding, “I smuggled a turtle in my groin through airport security.”
How silly is this all?
The post Man Caught Trying to Sneak Through Airport Security With a Live Turtle in His Pants appeared first on VICE.
