A woman has been cheered by Reddit users after sharing why she has decided to put an end to her tradition of baking birthday cakes for her now 8-year-old niece.
The woman, took to Reddit under a now-deleted username, to share that she has finally decided to put her foot down after her family members repeatedly dismissed her prior baking efforts by smashing her cakes. After years of watching her carefully crafted cakes go uneaten and destroyed in a family prank, the woman refused to bake for her niece’s most recent birthday or even attend the party. Her story, shared on March 4, resonated with thousands of users, garnering over 7,000 upvotes.
Licensed professional counselor Keisha Saunders-Waldron told Newsweek that the woman’s feelings and actions are understandable.
“This situation brings up some dynamics around relationships,” Saunders-Waldron said. “It is understandable that she feels hurt and frustrated—her time, effort, and artistry have been repeatedly dismissed, despite her clear requests for change. It is not just about the cake; it is about feeling unheard and disregarded by one’s family.”
The woman’s Reddit post described how she had faithfully baked birthday cakes for her niece for eight years. However, what began as a lighthearted prank on one of the birthdays—smashing the cake into someone’s face—soon became an unwelcome tradition.
The aunt recounted how each year she would spend hours baking elaborate themed cakes, only to see them destroyed before anyone could even taste them.
“When I brought this cake I was proud of myself,” the woman wrote. “An hour later my niece’s face ended up in the cake. I tried to laugh with the others, but I felt frustrated…No one even tried it and then the cake was thrown away…It was the same over the next years.”
The final straw came when her sister once again promised that the cake would be eaten, only for the same ritual to unfold. In response, the woman not only refused to bake a cake this year but also skipped the party altogether.
Her decision led to chaos at the event, with guests waiting for her arrival for two hours and the niece ultimately in tears. The sister’s husband was forced to buy a store-bought cake at the last minute. While the woman admitted feeling a pang of guilt, she stood by her choice, explaining that she could no longer tolerate seeing her hard work wasted.
From a psychological perspective, Saunders-Waldron highlighted how repeatedly ignoring someone’s boundaries can breed resentment and emotional fatigue which can explain the woman’s stance.
“When boundaries are repeatedly ignored, it can lead to resentment and emotional exhaustion,” she said. “You communicated your needs clearly, gave multiple chances for compromise, and ultimately made a decision to step away to protect your well-being.”
Saunders-Waldron suggested that if the woman wished to reconcile, a direct but honest conversation could help rebuild the relationship.
“If you are open to reconciliation, consider a direct but firm conversation with your sister,” she said. “Express that your decision was not about hurting your niece but rather about setting a boundary that respects your time and work. If she is willing to acknowledge your feelings, you may find a middle ground for future celebrations.”
Reddit Users React
Users on Reddit largely backed the woman for refusing to help out at her niece’s most recent birthday.
“Why in holy heck can’t they buy a cheap store cake for their antics, and eat/enjoy the cake you made with love,” one user asked.
A second wrote: “It takes OPs time, creativity, skill etc, not even including the financial costs of baking and decorating cakes…Clean up…And they don’t even eat it?”
A third Reddit user commented: “Also, they’re teaching a child that wasting money and time for a rude and dangerous prank of which she is the butt is okay.”
Another user wrote: “Why on earth should your sister expect you to spend so much time making beautiful cakes only to smash them and no one eat them. It does not matter that she pays for the ingredients. It is so disrespectful of your time and effort.”
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