A thief in Orlando, Florida, allegedly swallowed nearly $800k worth of Tiffany diamond jewelry during a robbery attempt in which he was, apparently, a little hungry but not so hungry that he wanted a full meal.
32-year-old Jaythan Lawrence Gilder walked into the Tiffany & Co. location in the Mall of Millenia, full of confidence as he told the employees that he was there on behalf of an Orlando Magic player.
No reporting of the story mentions which Magic player he said he was representing, but I can only hope he struggled to recall the name of a current player on the roster and went with the first he could remember. “What player? Uh, uh, H-Hedo Türkoğlu. Yeah, current Magic player Hedo Türkoğlu wants some earrings for his mistress.”
After apparently suggesting that the earrings on the show floor were not fancy enough, Gilder was moved to a private room. There, he was shown two pairs of diamond earrings and a diamond ring, all valued at over $1 million. Smelling opportunity, Gilder leapt out of his seat, grabbed the jewelry, and made a break for it. The associate assisting him tried to stop him but couldn’t and was injured in the attempt.
While making his mad dash for the exit, Gilder dropped the diamond ring but managed to escape with the two pairs of earrings. Seeing as the current year is 2025, security cameras recorded every part of this, including his car peeling out of the parking lot. He probably thought he managed to pull off the heist of the century when the Florida Highway Patrol found him hours later.
It was difficult for him to deny that he had stolen the earrings since the price tag was on the floor of his car. But, curiously, the cops couldn’t find the actual earrings. That’s because he swallowed them. He later admitted that he “should have thrown them out the window.”
I don’t know about that, man. If you’d done that, you would’ve deprived yourself of being able to say you shit out a pair of Tiffany earrings the cops later reported were valued at $760,000.
A scan of Gilder’s stomach at the county jail would reveal “several foreign objects.” As the cops were examining the scan, Gilder reportedly asked, “Am I going to be charged with what’s in my stomach?”
I wonder if there was a small part of him that was hoping, praying, for some kind of loophole in Florida law that says once the stolen item has passed through the small intestine, it’s yours to keep. And then I wonder, if he had gotten the yes to that, even in jest, how long would it be until he started wondering if he could eat a Lamborghini?
The post Suspected Thief Stole $800,000 in Tiffany Jewelry—Then Swallowed It appeared first on VICE.
