This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Linda Townsend, a 76-year-old mom of four from the Gold Coast, Australia. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Many parents dread the adolescent years when children tend to become moody and aloof as they go through puberty. But for me, my kids’ teenage years were the happiest of my life because we had so much fun together.
I became a mom at 23 and had three children — a girl, a boy, and another girl — all within five years before having my fourth child, another girl, at 36. When the three older ones were teenagers, we never had much money because my husband was out of work a lot, but we always had a good time.
My kids and I had plenty of fun together
We’ve had a lot of parties over the years. There were milestone birthdays to celebrate and dress-up parties galore. All of our kids’ friends and their parents would come. We’d dance until the wee hours and have a ball.
I used to have a lot of spontaneous fun with my kids. Sometimes, I’d take my three girls to the local lake, and we’d skinny dip. At certain times of the year, there was this bioluminescence in the water. If we shook our hands, all of these green luminous stars would shimmer and glow. We’d hold hands in the moonlight and float under the stars, talking about our plans and dreams. It was magical.
By the time my youngest became a teenager, we were in a better place financially, and I did a lot of traveling with my daughters. When the youngest was 14 and my older girls were 22 and 26, we roadtripped around Mexico and California while my husband and son stayed home. The following year, when my youngest was 15 and my second youngest was 23, the three of us traveled through the Middle East together. I loved the fun and the adventures we shared.
I helped them through school and hard times, too
Although my kids were my best friends, I also knew they needed guidance and discipline. As a parent, you’re there to teach them boundaries and manners. I loved helping them choose school subjects and getting them on the right academic path for their university degrees.
Being able to learn with them and being involved in their education was a highlight for me. When my youngest did French immersion, I taught her French grammar (which my mother taught me). I would sit in the bedroom with her, and we would translate her homework into English and then back into French. I believe that parent involvement is critical to a child’s advancement.
If my kids were ever moody, I understood that it was mostly hormonal and just tried to give them privacy. They’d lock themselves away in their rooms and listen to their music. When the time was right, I’d talk to them, listen to their problems and fears, and do what I could to make sure they were happy. If they confessed to doing something wrong at school, I’d guide them to do the right thing.
It was hard when they moved out, but we’re still connected
When the four kids left, I struggled with empty nest syndrome, especially when my youngest moved from where we live in Australia to Canada in 2010. I was heartbroken, but you have to let them fly. My kids were such a big part of my life. They were my reason for existence, and for a long time, I struggled to find purpose in other things, but eventually, I did.
These days, I have seven grandkids, and I enjoy spending time with them, as well as with my friends and my husband. I still need that contact with my children. You never let go of them in your heart. The love is always there. The connection between the mother and child is very strong, and for me, my kids were my best friends and the light of my life.
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