Spoiler alert: This post discusses events from Love Is Blind Season 8, Episodes 10-12. Lauren O’Brien did not expect her prior hookup would become a central plot point in Season 8 of Love Is Blind. After she and fiancé Dave Bettenburg returned to Minneapolis from their honeymoon and got their phones back, Dave discovered something surprising: Before entering the pods, Lauren had been briefly seeing a guy who shared mutual friends with Dave. Though she insisted the relationship was casual, Dave couldn’t get past it, ultimately breaking things off a week and a half before the weddings.
Many viewers were perplexed by how this became such a deal-breaker, and Lauren was equally bewildered. “It made me feel crazy,” the 31-year-old former teacher says. “All of my friends and family were just as confused about why this was the only thing Dave and I were tackling.”
Eventually, she couldn’t continue rehashing the issue. “You see a look of defeat by the time we get to our bowling scene, where I’m just like, ‘I can’t do this anymore,’” Lauren says. The couple went their separate ways in Episode 11, and Lauren still hasn’t met Dave’s sister or friends to this day. “I still don’t know who exists and who doesn’t,” she jokes.
Here, Lauren shares more about their breakup, what she thinks of the internet’s opinions on Dave, and the “red flag” she didn’t notice in the pods.
Elite Daily: Looking back now, why do you think Dave didn’t want to introduce you to his family and friends?
Lauren O’Brien: Dave says it himself — he’s scared. I think he wasn’t ready to dive into marriage, and he knew he wasn’t going to be able to get there. I think he thought, “I’m not going to marry this person, so what’s the point in putting my sister, my friends, and myself through this?”
ED: A lot of people online are saying that it seems like Dave was looking for an excuse to end the relationship. What do you think of that analysis?
LO: I get it. I do think there was a lot of love from both of us that you don’t see. They only have so much time to show our story, and I do think he had conflicting moments about how he felt about us and his future. But at the end of the day, I think he wanted to find an excuse to get out that didn’t involve him not being ready.
I don’t think he loved me enough to look past something that was very minuscule.
ED: After the breakup, you said, “This wouldn’t matter if he was in love with me enough to want to marry me.” Do you feel like Dave was really in love with you?
LO: Not in the way I would’ve needed him to be. I think he had love for me, but I don’t think he loved me enough to look past something that was very minuscule. Him really taking that and running with it showed he didn’t have the love and respect for me that I needed from a partner.
ED: Why do you think he was so pressed about this friend-with-benefits situation?
LO: It wasn’t just that I had been seeing someone — this was someone he had met before, had mutual friends with, and lived in the same building as us. It was very close to home for him. Looking back, I wonder if this would’ve been the downfall of our entire relationship if it wasn’t someone he was connected to. I don’t know the answer, but I’ve definitely questioned it.
ED: What did you think when Dave spoke to you at bar night and said the breakup was all his fault?
LO: That was a tough moment because it was 24 hours after we had ended our engagement. That day gave me a lot of clarity, and I went into that night not needing any closure from him. I had said my piece and he had clearly said his, so I was surprised he wanted to say that to me.
There’s a minute where I’m like, “I’ve been waiting weeks for you to say this. Thank you for acknowledging that you played a part in this.” But at the same time, I remember thinking, “I don’t believe this newfound view on things 24 hours after you’ve been berating me about it for two weeks.”
It’s not the most mature way to look at someone that you ‘want to be with.’
ED: He commented during a confessional that night, “I suck at wanting what I can’t have.” What did you think of that?
LO: I think that speaks to his immaturity. It’s not the most mature way to look at someone that you “want to be with.”
ED: There’s another detail from earlier this season that fans have been talking about: Dave’s career background in medical sales. He said he’s used to being around “too much Botox.” Did that make you cringe at all?
LO: I remember asking him in the pods, “Do you think that’s changed your opinion on who you’re attracted to? Tell me about how that’s affected your dating life.” He had a really normal, mature answer. It definitely gave me a bit of a pause, but the way we talked through it, it did not scream as much of a red flag as it does watching it back.
ED: You’ve mentioned a couple of times that you and Dave had a lot of conversations we didn’t get to see. What’s something people are missing about your relationship?
LO: The times we laughed together and enjoyed each other’s company. Obviously, I wouldn’t have been fighting that hard for a relationship that I didn’t have a lot of love for.
This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
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