A hot air balloon company based in California wants you to join the Mile-High Club in one of their wicker baskets in the sky. Magical Adventure Balloon Rides want to put you and your lover in a hot air balloon so you can fuck in the skies over Temecula.
The recreational flight will allow writers to ascend up to 5,280 feet, which is around 2,000 feet higher than your usual recreational hot air balloon ride.
Of course, to make things as awkward as humanly possible, the couple seeking to have sex in the skies is not alone. Someone with professional credentials in hot air ballooning has to be in the basket at all times to pilot the thing. Good luck maintaining an erection at 5,000 feet with a privacy screen being all that separates you and your lover’s engorged genitals from a hot air balloon pilot doing their best to ignore the meat-slapping sound coming from just behind them.
The flight comes with a complimentary champagne breakfast to set the mood, so not only are you trying to maintain sexiness in a basket in the clouds with the pilot only a few feet away, but you also have to do it in the morning, the least sexy time of day.
Couples are encouraged to bring bedding in case things get a little chilly up there, along with their own musical playlist to set the mood. Couples should, of course, also bring along a brown leather aviator hat and your sexiest giant goggles to protect their eyes from the blistering winds.
Prices for the experience start at $1,400 for two passengers. If you want to turn it into an aerial clusterfuck, that will be an additional $159 per adult in a larger 10-person basket.
That’s an awful lot of money to spend just to claim you’re part of the Mile-High Club—and does it even really count? It always seemed to me that the thrill of being a part of the Mile-High Club is sneaking off to have sex on a commercial flight. Chartering a hot air balloon specifically to have sex amongst the Angels seems like cheating.
But what do I know? I’m not a hot air sex balloonist. You crazy kids with money to burn go have fun in your fuck basket. Please, don’t throw your used condoms overboard.
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