As humans, we are wired for attachment. Craving connections with others, whether they be romantic or platonic, is completely normal and healthy. We’re social creatures who need each other to survive.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t lead a healthy, fulfilling life without a romantic partner. Many individuals prefer solitude and singlehood, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Some people are happier that way.
However, according to new research, those who remain single tend to be less satisfied later in life.
“Being romantically partnered is widely seen as a societal norm, and it has been shown to be positively associated with important life outcomes, such as physical and mental health,” study authors wrote in the journal Psychological Science. “However, the percentage of singles is steadily increasing, with more people staying single for life.”
“Specification-curve analyses suggested that lifelong singles were less extraverted, less conscientious, less open to experiences (dependent on singlehood definition), and less satisfied with their lives,” the study continues.
Lifelong Singles Are Less Satisfied Than Partnered People
Look, I don’t want to piss off the single community—a group I have been a part of for years. And I’m certainly not saying there aren’t some miserable married couples who hate each other’s guts. However, according to this research, lifelong singles do tend to differ in personality traits and life satisfaction.
Most of those who are single during their 20s and 30s likely don’t have the same needs as those who are single later in life. For the most part, they can enjoy their freedom by traveling, focusing on their careers, and spending time with friends without the looming threat of health concerns or financial burdens.
But as our health naturally declines in our old age, we might crave or even rely on the support of a partner to get us through tough times.
This new study doesn’t mean you should get married just for the sake of it. I mean, not to be morbid, but you could tie the knot and lose your partner in some way, whether through divorce, infidelity, or even death.
What I’m trying to say is that nothing is ever guaranteed, so if you do choose to marry, make sure it’s for love and not just security.
(Or don’t. It’s your life.)
If anything, this research sheds light on the need for more elderly support—especially for those who don’t have spouses to lean on.
“There are differences between people who stay single their entire lives and people who get partnered, and for me, this means that we have to take extra care of these people,” Julia Stern, one of the lead authors and a senior researcher at the University of Bremen in Germany told the American Psychological Society.
I think it’s also important to note that you can find social support and fulfillment in other types of relationships. Though friendships might change as you age and as others get married or start their own families, it’s becoming more commonplace for people to not have kids or not commit to one person forever. It really depends on who you’re surrounding yourself with. Likeminded individuals will help you feel more understood and emotionally fulfilled.
To address the concerning results of this research, Stern suggested creating programs to prevent loneliness and help older singles connect with their peers.
“If they have people who care for them or look out for them regularly, this might help,” she said.
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