A recent paleontological discovery almost definitively proved that hyper-masculine diet fads like the paleo diet are built on a foundation of bullshit. Our ancient ancestors ate a ton of vegetables and did not have diets made exclusively of meat. Another hyper-masculine diet is the carnivore diet and, surprise, it also sucks—unless you enjoy going to the hospital with cholesterol literally oozing from your hands.
One Florida man who had been strictly adhering to the carnivore diet for close to a year had cholesterol levels so astronomically high that actual cholesterol started seeping out through his skin.
This is about the point I should tell you that this story is disgusting and if you’re at all squeamish it’s probably best to find something else to read. VICE is a big site with lots of stuff on it. Here’s an article about a scientific study that determined the precise moment at which puppies are at their cutest.
florida man hospitalized after trying to be a carnivore
Anyway, according to a medical case study published this week, an unnamed Florida man in his 40s was admitted to Tampa General Hospital after he had spent three weeks with these gross “yellowish nodules” on his palms, the soles of his feet, and his elbows. He said they weren’t painful but they sure were disgusting.
The man told doctors that, for the past eight months, he had been on the carnivore diet. The carnivore diet and the paleo diet mentioned above are similar but have one key difference: on the carnivore diet, you’re not allowed to eat carbs at all.
The carnivore diet is also a lot like the keto diet except that the carnivore diet only allows you to eat animal products whereas keto allows you to eat vegetables as long as they’re low-carb.
Carnivore diet demands that people eat like they want to die very soon. It’s meat and cheese and butter—pure fatty decadence. The man told doctors that he had lost a ton of weight and had more energy than ever.
He achieved this by eating 6 to 9 pounds of cheese every day. He would constantly eat hamburgers throughout the day. He washed that all down with several sticks of butter. He seemed to be happy with the results, though these yellow nodules all over his body were a little concerning.
Those nodules were a condition called Xanthelasma, a rare ailment wherein a person’s cholesterol is so absurdly high that it starts seeping out through their skin in the form of these little yellow bumps filled with fats trying to escape their body, violently so if necessary.
A normal person’s cholesterol should be in the range of 200 mg/dL. This guy’s was over 1,000 mg/dL. His blood was all burgers.
One of the more unusual aspects of a story that’s unusual from beginning to end is that Xanthelasma usually presents itself around the eyes, which I encourage you not to Google. They can form elsewhere around the body but the eyes are usually where they show up. This medical marvel of a man didn’t have any around his eyes and exclusively had them on various other parts of his body as mentioned earlier.
Xanthelasma can be removed through simple cosmetic procedures, but they do indicate an underlying cholesterol problem which could lead to cardiovascular disease, heart attacks, and strokes. The man in his 40s at the center of the story claims the diet helped him shed pounds and made him more energetic. Now let’s see if this diet allows him to live to be a man in his 50s.
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