Former Fox News host Pete Hegseth was officially confirmed as Donald Trump’s new Secretary of Defense on Friday. The vote was exceptionally close and required Vice President JD Vance to break the tie.
The contentious confirmation was partially due to three Republicans siding with Democrats, citing concerns over Hegseth’s history of alcohol abuse and allegations of abuse and sexual misconduct (which Hegseth denies).
During the latest episode of Real Time, Bill Maher briefly addressed Hegseth during a mid-show gag segment. The occasion marked the return of Maher’s recurring bit, “Things You Don’t Know About…” where he humorously lists made-up ‘facts’ about public figures, often highlighting their controversies or personal flaws. This time, the segment featured “24 Things You Don’t Know About Pete Hegseth.”
Maher kicked things off with a joke: “When Trump first asked me to be Secretary of Defense, I said, Secretary, I ain’t no woman,” attributing the faux quote to Hegseth.
He continued, “I don’t know the meaning of surrender—or last call.”
Maher poked fun at Hegseth’s personal struggles, saying, “I got the idea for Concerned Veterans for America from veterans saying, ‘We’re concerned about your drinking.’”
He also jabbed at accusations of marital infidelity, quipping, “My favorite sex position is where my wife lies face down and I’m 10 miles away f***ing a cocktail waitress.”
Maher went on: “My ancestors are Norwegian, which is why you often find me sleeping outside with the dog.”
Taking a shot at Hegseth’s alleged conduct in nightlife, Maher joked, “I hold the Guinness record for the number of times being told by a bouncer, ‘Please don’t touch the dancers.’”
“I think Amelia Earhart is proof women can’t drive,” Maher added.
Maher wrapped up with, “My drag name is Miss Ogynist,” and, “I have a tattoo on my penis that reads, ‘You must be this tall to ride.’”
The segment was another example of Maher’s signature comedic style, blending sharp wit with biting satire.
You can watch the full sketch above.
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