Starz‘s new erotic thriller The Couple Next Door has made no bones about the fact that Evie (Eleanor Tomlinson) has the hots for Danny (Sam Heughan) and Danny has the hots for Evie, and Danny and wife Becka (Jessica De Gouw) are totally in an open relationship. However, as of The Couple Next Door Episode 2 “Tangled Temptations,” the Starz series is still being quite the tease when it comes to actually getting to the heavily-foreshadowed couple swapping!!!
**Spoilers for The Couple Next Door Episode 2 “Tangled Temptations,” now streaming on Starz**
The Couple Next Door Episode 2 “Tangled Temptations ” might open with Evie and Danny recreating The Notebook’s iconic kiss in the rain, but we quickly learn that moment of passion is just a fantasy in Evie’s demented head. Yes, Evie is demented. That’s something else we learned this week when Evie’s reaction to learning her sister is pregnant is to…murder a pond full of koi fish? Specifically the fish that her often absent husband Pete (Alfred Enoch) loves?
The Couple Next Door Episode 2 also features a scene where Becka’s creepy neighbor Alan (Hugh Dennis) discovers that Becka rightfully believes she’s a creep. Yes, there’s a moment where we see this old dude perusing the comments on her social media account, reading in the digital ink of the internet that he is reviled. His response to this? Something totally normal, like sneaking into Becka’s home and stealing private footage of a sex party she and Danny consensually had with another couple. Totally normal, Alan! WHY IS YOUR WIFE STILL STUCK DOWNSTAIRS?
The Couple Next Door Episode 2 crescendoes with two action-filled sequences. One follows our quartet of hotties to the beach, where they drink, get high, and grind on each other. Well, Becka, Evie, and Danny grind on each other. Wet blanket Pete is uncomfy that hot people in a Starz show are dirty dancing in broad daylight.
The other sequence sees Danny and his motorcycle cop buddy run afoul of some masked heavies while accompanying a van making a mysterious shipment. Guns are fired. Bikes go down. Still no one dies.
That’s just a quick overview of what went down on this week’s The Couple Next Door, but here are five weird little moments that jumped out to me, watching on my proverbial couch:
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Pete is Investigating…Something? Should I Care?
The whole point of The Couple Next Door is that there are these two hot couples in the same sleepy English cul de sac and they may or may not (but probably will) engage in some swinging at some point. Nevertheless, Pete’s storyline seems stuck investigating some small town local corruption. I intellectually know Pete’s work is tied in with whatever Danny is doing on his motorbike for extra cash, but I simply do not care. Like, I’m a journalist — an entertainment journalist, albeit — and I can’t drum up any interest, let alone sympathy.
Last week, I opined that Alfred Enoch was too hot to be believable as a stick in the mud. Now, I’m not so sure because poor Pete’s whole subplot stinks! (No offense to Alfred Enoch. You are still very handsome.)
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Single White Koi Killer
The Couple Next Door Episode 2 “Tangled Temptations” opens with some rough news for poor Evie. We learned last week that Evie has desperately been trying to have a baby for quite some time. Her miscarriage last week pushed her ever closer to the kindness represented by Becka and Danny. This week’s episode opens with her crazy religious sister revealing that she is expecting a baby. Evie pretends to be happy, but then goes home and does something that fully pushes her into “Looney Tunes” territory: she poisons a pond of innocent koi fish.
Look, I understand they represent something Pete loves and he’s been distant, letting her down. Nevertheless, the fish are innocent! Moreover, Evie didn’t just, like, forget a feeding or something. She doused the small pond with a bucket full of pills. It’s such incredibly unhinged behavior that I’m glad Evie’s not expecting a baby — I wouldn’t trust her with one! And I no longer trust her with anything at all!!!
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I’m Sorry, But It’s Very Funny That This Show Made Its Creep Both Read and Hear He’s Creepy
Not be undone by forcing us to watch Alan see Becka “like” a comment affirming his creep status, The Couple Next Door let Danny bring up the universal complaint to his face.
No one likes you, Alan! And why would we?? This is a man with zero redeeming qualities. He just ignores his wife in favor of stalking a nice lady on his street. You are a creep and you should know it. So there!
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Just Get To the Sex Already!
Need I say more? Oh, I do?
(sighs)
While I’ll be the first to admit there’s great power in a slow burn — anticipation only ratchets up the heat of desire — I’m honestly kind of getting over it on The Couple Next Door. Sure, Evie, Becka, and Danny came close to exploring each other’s bodies, but they didn’t! It was all very tame.
Do I get the sense that we are skirting towards an eventual couple swap? Yes. Do I wish it would happen already? Absolutely!
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What Is This Squid Game Subplot Doing Here?
As I keep emphasizing, I feel like the primary reason to watch Starz’s The Couple Next Door is to see what happens when the wife swap inevitably occurs. Will Pete find himself set free by Becka’s lack of inhibitions? Will Evie get the orgasm she so badly needs? Will that orgasm be enough to save the lives of all the other fish in the Leeds area?
What I don’t really care about is anything else. (Well, I am enjoying the further degradation of creepy Alan. He deserves all the badgering and beatings he can get!)
So when Danny’s motorbike is overtaken by a van of masked gunmen, like he had wandered into Squid Game or something, I was…not impressed. We have Squid Game at home. I’m watching The Couple Next Door for the erotic tension. More of that, please. More of that!
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