For many people, turning 30 is the beginning of a whole new phase in life. Some gain a newfound perspective on what they value, while others learn to rid themselves of any bad habits or influences.
The latter is a concept known as shedding, and it’s an often conscious decision to remove certain burdens from one’s life. Licensed therapist Alex Huffmaster explained to Newsweek that when people go through a phase of shedding, they abandon any “negative habits, toxic relationships or self-limiting beliefs” which may be holding them back.
For some, this could mean distancing themselves from those frenemies they’ve always held a little too closely, or perhaps finally overcoming societal expectations that don’t align with them.
“Many individuals unknowingly shed aspects of their lives through natural evolution,” Huffmaster, 36, said. “However, deliberate shedding involves active reflection, often starts with therapy, self-help books, or life transitions, such as turning a year older.”
There’s no doubt that a person’s thirties can be a pivotal time, bringing so many new challenges and expectations. That is precisely why many treat this decade as “a transitional phase,” according to Huffmaster, who resides in Michigan. They begin to reevaluate their choices, their timelines and even their purpose.
This notion was championed by reality star Khloé Kardashian, 40, who, in an interview with Bustle, talked about feeling happier than ever after shedding negativity in her thirties.
Those impossible beauty standards, the constant self-doubt, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and materialistic desires are some of the other examples of what people say goodbye to in their thirties.
Indeed, it’s not just a behavioral shift, as Huffmaster explains that a cognitive change also occurs when people reach the big 3-0.
She continued: “By the thirties, the prefrontal cortex, which is the brain’s executive center, reaches full maturity. With this neurological milestone, individuals tend to experience a greater sense of self-awareness.
“This cognitive development creates introspection and the ability to critically assess what contributes to mental well-being. Life pressures, such as advancing careers, starting families, or managing personal setbacks often prompt reflection during this decade,” Huffmaster told Newsweek.
This is something that Huffmaster has personally experienced, as she says she’s gone through phases of both conscious and unconscious shedding. She says it’s been a “a consistent, natural and welcomed result” in her life.
What Are the Benefits of Shedding?
Shedding can provide many benefits, including mental clarity, fulfillment, and it even improves emotional well-being. By removing negative influences, Huffmaster says this creates more space for healthy relationships, productive habits and gives people a feeling of authenticity.
They’re finally doing what they believe in and what makes them happy, after all.
For any thirtysomething looking to start shedding, Huffmaster, who specializes in therapy for self-esteem issues, anxiety and trauma, recommends starting small by simply identifying areas in your life which feel like a burden. This allows you to reflect on how they serve you (if at all) before making any big decisions.
She said: “Small changes, such as setting boundaries or experimenting with new habits, are often more sustainable than abrupt decisions. Therapy can provide guidance during this process.
“While shedding can be liberating, it’s important to approach it with balance. Drastic decisions, like cutting off long-standing relationships or making sudden life changes without enough reflection, could lead to regret other consequences. Shedding should be guided by compassion and self-awareness rather than an avoidance of discomfort,” Huffmaster added.
What Are the Downsides?
Shedding isn’t foolproof and of course, it can also have negative effects.
Huffman suggests that excessive shedding can be caused by “impulsivity or avoidance,” and can create an imbalance in a person’s sense of identity. If you suddenly get rid of too much, what are you left with?
“Abruptly ending multiple relationships may lead to isolation or regret. Balance and reflection are important to ensure shedding is constructive,” she said.
Remember: the purpose of shedding is to prioritize your values and create space for growth. It’s not about losing who you are entirely.
Do Celebrity Endorsements Help?
Although the concept of shedding isn’t new, celebrities including the Kardashians can introduce it to a whole new audience who weren’t previously aware of it.
But is all that attention a good thing?
Huffmaster is thankful that celebrities can “normalize self-improvement and reflection” and encourage people to assess their circumstances. However, these are difficult conversations, and they shouldn’t be oversimplified or commercialized.
“For shedding to be beneficial, it needs to be approached authentically,” Huffmaster said. “When celebrities use their platform responsibly, they can make the conversation more accessible and relatable. But when they lack a deep understanding of these concepts, or treat them as performative, it risks trivializing the process.”
Shedding isn’t supposed to be easy, so Huffmaster doesn’t want to see it turned into a “fleeting trend.” Many celebrities have access to therapists and life coaches who might make it seem simple and effortless.
But don’t be fooled, because regardless of who you are, shedding requires meaningful self-improvement and reflection.
Huffmaster said: “Shedding can be emotionally and mentally taxing. Letting go of habits, beliefs, or connections, can cause fear or guilt. It often involves confronting deeply ingrained patterns, which may require sustained effort and support from trusted individuals or professionals.”
The post Why Your 30s Should Be a Decade of ‘Shedding,’ According to a Therapist appeared first on Newsweek.
