We’ve all experienced it: that pit of disgust in our guts when someone does something (oftentimes minor) that triggers an aversion—or as the internet calls it, the dreaded “ick.”
“The psychology of disgust can offer valuable insights into when, why, for whom, and how strongly we feel disgusted. Disgust has been a surprisingly overlooked emotion in the research world until recently, despite it being such a common, visceral experience,” Psychology Today reports.
Everyone is prone to feeling disgusted, but some are more sensitive to it than others. For example, a person who has been sexually assaulted might have a strong aversion to certain sexual acts while others might not. Of course, there doesn’t need to be an underlying trauma to cause this sensitivity to disgust.
Regardless, the emotion is there to protect us. Oftentimes, getting the “ick” might indicate areas where you feel afraid or moments when you feel hesitant.
If you have a fear of commitment, you might be more prone to feeling disgusted by small triggers, as your mind actively searches for reasons to abandon a situation or person. At the core, you might really just be trying not to get hurt.
Got the Ick? Don’t Worry—You Can Come Back From It
Thankfully, if you feel like the ick is ruining your dating life or relationships, there are ways to work through it—especially if there is a baseline of connection and attraction.
“Arousal and increased exposure likely can get you beyond it,” wrote Lucia F. O’Sullivan Ph.D. in her Psychology Today article.
“It’s easy to bolt, and you may feel that getting beyond the ick is impossible,” she continued. “If you’re disappointed that you felt that pang of disgust, pause for a moment of reflection. Try to determine if your initial feelings of connection were genuine and worthwhile. If you were all in at first, then there may be value in getting over this icky feeling.”
No one is perfect, and just because your partner did something that grossed you out doesn’t mean you need to “throw the whole guy away,” as my friend would say. Rather, you can explore the emotions beneath the ick and ground yourself in the connection you share with your partner.
Of course, there might be dealbreakers you won’t want to overlook, such as someone being pushy in the bedroom or being rude to wait staff. But those are a bit more serious than, say, running with a backpack on or standing alone in a long line. (Yes, those are real icks someone shared on TikTok.)
The post How to Recover When You Get ‘The Ick’ appeared first on VICE.
