Posting her story on social media for others to view and opine on, a woman said she’s been with her fiancé for five years and the couple’s been engaged for four months — but with the wedding up ahead in the months to come, she’s not sure what to do.
“Up until now, I’ve been mostly excited,” she wrote on Reddit. “But there’s a pit in my stomach I’ve been trying to ignore. Something just isn’t right.”
She noted to others, “Any advice appreciated, especially if you’ve had similar feelings.”
She said that “over the last two years, it feels like I’ve fallen out of love. The man I used to be crazy about — I look at him and feel so much resentment. I still love him, but I don’t like him.”
She learned, she added, that “his mother absolutely hates me as well – I know I’d be marrying him and not his mother, but finding that out feels like my breaking point.”
She called his family “awful people” and said she doesn’t “want to get myself any further involved in that, as well as any potential children we may have.”
Her own family members, meanwhile, she shared, “have been so kind and welcoming to him. They adore him completely, while every effort I’ve made to be part of his family has been completely shut off. I am so hurt, embarrassed and lonely.”
The economics of the event are of concern, she said.
“I am terrified of the shame and backlash from family.”
“At this point, we’ve paid $800 for a non-refundable hotel room, a $f1,600 deposit to our venue and, if we canceled, [we] would be charged another $2,000,” said the woman, using the name “ImaginaryKick5478.”
She said that the rest of the costs were “to be covered by family.”
She continued, “I know people will say canceling a wedding is cheaper than a divorce down the line, but I truly don’t have $4,500 to cover the sunken costs.”
The woman said that “most importantly, I am terrified of the shame and backlash from family. My dad especially loves my partner and thinks nothing is wrong, and wouldn’t stand by me if we broke up.”
She said there is no one “that would be a support system in my life, and that reason alone is almost entirely why I have been going through with the wedding. I feel like I am on autopilot, and time is running out before the crash.”
She said she’s been suffering “genuine panic attacks” due to the idea of “navigating a tough breakup while having family so involved and likely to constantly bring him and our failed engagement up.”
“Leaving” the relationship, she said, “is much easier said than done.”
Added the woman, “I have brought all of these feelings up to my fiancé directly, and he thinks I am just being dramatic and upset and that my feelings will blow over. I wish he knew that I’ve fallen out of love. More importantly, I wish I still loved him the way I used to.”
She went on, “I feel like being with him has been the biggest mistake of my life, and I just wish I could take it all back.”
Yet “leaving” the relationship, she said, “is much easier said than done.”
She wrote, “I’d be ruined financially and would destroy my relationship with my immediate family, and I’d rather be in an unhappy marriage than have those two things happen.”
“Is there anything else I can do, or is this only going to get worse?”
She finished her post this way: “I am trying to hold onto this relationship and do what I can to avoid calling it off, but I know time is running out. Couples therapy? A weekend away? Is there anything else I can do, or is this only going to get worse?”
Some 1,200 people reacted so far to the drama. Commenters on Reddit were blunt and direct with the original poster, with some suggesting the woman already knew the answer to her dilemma.
“I don’t see any other option but to cancel the wedding,” wrote one person.
Said another, “Stop people-pleasing and make yourself happy.”
Said yet another, in part, “I think if you have to ask, you know the answer deep down.”
Wrote someone else in detail, “The price you pay to exit your current circumstances will be far, far cheaper than the price you pay down the line with kids in tow (coming from a divorced father of five).”
The psychologist said that she would “encourage” the struggling partner “to speak privately with each family member involved, starting with the one you’re closest to” — and seek to let others know what’s going on so that the problem can be resolved.
The post Woman desperate for wedding advice already knows the answer: ‘Something isn’t right’ appeared first on Fox News.
